You'll Be In My Heart
by TurboWiz70
Summary: Eli has become a single father due to tragedy and he and his daughter are slowly getting stronger, but they are still broken inside. Will a new person entering their lives make them stronger or will it destroy what they have left? Discontinued.
1. Chapter 1

AU Future fic; I thought I'd try to write something I've never written before. The title is inspired by the song "You'll Be In My Heart" by Phil Collins. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi!

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><p><span>Chapter One<span>

"'And Cinderella and Prince Charming lived happily ever after. The end'," Eli read from the story. He was reading from a book of fairy tales and, tonight, his daughter asked for him to read the traditional story, _Cinderella_.

"Can you read it again?" the six-year-old asked from under her covers.

He grinned at her enthusiasm, but shook his head.

"Maybe tomorrow," he said, standing up from the edge of the bed and putting the book back on the nightstand.

"But tomorrow I may want you to read _Snow White_," Scout Goldsworthy mentioned.

Eli chuckled and looked down at the girl with pale skin, green eyes, and the shoulder-length, straight black hair.

"Well, we'll have to see."

"Okay," she accepted, obviously too tired from another day of first grade to bother arguing.

Eli pulled the purple blankets so they were securing Scout in their warmth as she held on to the blue plush hippo in her arms. He reached over to the lamp on her nightstand to act as her nightlight.

"Goodnight," he told her before giving her a kiss on her head. "Sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite."

When Scout grinned a bit at the usual nighttime term, Eli saw not only Scout's grin, but her mother's grin . . . Julia's grin.

"I love you, Daddy," she told him.

"I love you too, Scout. Sweet dreams."

He walked towards the door and turned out the light before seeing Scout close her eyes and try to sleep. He quietly closed the door behind her and walked to his room. It was only eight-thirty, but he had a long day and he craved sleep.

Eli couldn't help but be proud of his daughter. She was being so strong since her mother left them three months ago. As he stripped to his boxers and pulled on a black t-shirt, he thought of how she had been marching on through the days. She did shed tears, but after she cried, she and Eli always talked about the good times they had with Julia from days at the beach, birthdays, and other family events. He grinned at his little girl's strength as he climbed onto the right side of the bed.

Sleeping in this bed was still painful at times. He and Julia had shared that bed for seven years since they got married. For the longest time, he didn't sleep in the bedroom at all because the ghosts of many memories haunted it. For the first week or two after the accident, Scout begged for her father to stay with her, so that's where he slept at first. But once school started up again, she started sleeping by herself in her room.

Eli then slept on the couch for a week, then he slept on the floor of his and Julia's room for three days after that, and then he was finally able to slumber in the bed again. However, he never touched Julia's side. He kept to the right hemisphere of the mattress, not wanting the area where she slept to be disturbed.

There were a few nights though that Scout would come crawling into his arms whether it was on the couch, floor, or in his bed because of horrible nightmares. They were all the same since that night in July . . . they were all flashbacks. Memories of that night always stalked her dreams.

She saw her mother at the wheel of the car while she sat in the backseat. They were on their way home from the park when a speeding car ran a red light and hit their car.

Julia was trying to get control as Scout screamed, but it was no use. The car skidded into the front of another lane and more collisions occurred, leaving the car in complete devastation. Unfortunately, one of the other cars hit the driver's side of the Goldsworthy's car.

Eight people were harmed that day and there was one fatality. Scout had a concussion and a broken wrist . . . but Julia's injuries were extreme and she died in the destroyed automobile. Her injuries were serious and nothing could've been done to save her even if paramedics have gotten there sooner.

Since that day, Scout has awoken from that nightmare three times a week and Eli hated it. She already had to live that terrible experience once and going through it again while she tried to sleep was simply cruel. He now hoped that she wouldn't have that dream tonight, but it had been a couple of days so she was due to have one any day now.

He now lied on and turned out the lamp. He turned over on his side and stared at Julia's side of the bed through the darkness.

"Goodnight Jul. I love you."

He closed his eyes and fell into yet another uneasy sleep like he had done so many times over the last three months. He was certain that he was only asleep for a maximum of three hours when . . .

"Daddy," a small voice said as a small hand placed itself on his arm. He turned over on his side and opened his eyes. He reached for the lamp and turned it on to send a dim glow around the room. Scout was standing by the bed, her eyes filled with tears and she held her stuffed blue hippo.

"Another bad dream?" he guessed, heartbroken to see his little girl so sad.

She nodded and a tear rolled down her face.

"Come here," he said, holding out his arms for her.

She crawled into his arms and under the blankets. He scooted over so she wasn't lying on the edge of the bed. He kept the lamp on to serve the purpose as a nightlight for his little girl . . . his and Julia's little girl. She held onto the animal and he held on to her.

"It's okay, sweetheart. You're safe; nothing's going to happen to you."

Scout didn't respond. For a while, Eli thought she had already fallen asleep. He kissed her head before he closed his eyes and prepared to sleep when the sound of his daughter's voice reached his ears once again.

"I miss Mommy."

Hearing those words from Scout always tore his heart to shreds. No child should ever have to say those words, so knowing that his own had to feel that way and say such words made him want to cry.

"I do too, baby girl. I do too."

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><p>Clare comes in the next chapter or the chapter after. Who wants to read it? Review please!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry it took me a while to update. I had a few blocks and I've been working on my other fic. Thank you everyone for adding this to favorites, putting it one alert, etc. and I'd like the lovely SoManyWords for being the first to review this! Thank you SO much! This chapter is for you! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi

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><p><span>Chapter Two<span>

Despite the recent tragedy that had plagued their lives, Eli and Scout had tried to move on with their days after Julia's funeral. Over the summer, Scout would spend the days with his or Julia's parents while he went to work at the _Toronto Turret_. He dreamed of becoming a writer and he was even working on a novel, but he put it on the backburner since Julia's death.

He missed the support she always gave him when he tried to write it. He got blocks on it constantly and she always tried her best to help him overcome it.

"You'll get there, baby," she'll reassure him. "You always do."

Not long after hearing her words, he'll find his muse again and he'd write for hours on end.

That was their routine over the summer during the weekdays when Eli worked and it didn't really change once the school year started up again. Eli didn't have to be at work until nine o'clock, so he was there to help Scout get ready for her day and he always walked her to school. Ever since the accident, she had been terrified of stepping into cars, buses, and other vehicles. He figured this was just a phase and that she'll outgrow it once she learned to cope with her mother's death . . . at least that's what he hoped for.

The next morning, Eli's alarm clock went off at six o'clock sharp. Scout was still in his arms from the night before, but she didn't seem disturbed by the noise at all.

"Scout," he whispered to her once the alarm was silent. When she didn't stir, he gently put a hand on her arm. "Scout."

She hummed a little before opening her eyes.

"Time for school," he told her softly.

She groaned before closing her eyes again.

"Come on," he said lightly. "The sooner you get up and go, the sooner you can come home."

Since Scout enjoyed learning, it normally didn't take much convincing to get her out of bed. She opened her eyes back up and smiled tiredly at her father, who grinned back; he could never resist her smile.

"Go get dressed, okay?"

"Okay," she said before getting out of the bed and walking to her room with her hippo in her arms.

It was different without Julia around. Things seemed less pleasant. She always made the Mondays seem lighthearted, but she wasn't there, therefore it wasn't the same. Eli and Scout have been trying their best to keep up the positive spirits, but it was difficult since their beacon of happiness was absent.

Eli got showered and changed into jeans and a t-shirt; he would come back home and change for work after he left Scout at school. While he was in the bathroom, Scout was in her room, changing into the clothes she picked out to wear the night before. She changed into a white shirt and she wore a navy blue dress over it that reached her knees.

Afterwards, she attempted to make her bed. When her mother was alive, they made it together and they had fun while doing it. Scout was always sad that the bed never looked as good as it did when her mom helped her, but she tried her best. Once she set her hippo by the uneven pillow on unsmoothed blankets, she turned to the picture she had of her, Julia, and Eli when they went to the zoo one day.

"I tried, Mommy," she informed the picture.

She then pulled on her socks and Velcro shoes before going downstairs.

She held on to the rail as she went down the stairs that led her to the living room. She turned to an opening on the left and entered the kitchen. She saw Eli finishing a cup of coffee as she stepped inside.

She walked towards the breakfast table and sat there in a chair before Eli attempted to put Scout's hair up like Julia did. At first he thought he was never going to get the knack of it. The best he could do at first was put it up in a ponytail. However, thanks to his mother and mother-in-law's help, he was soon able to braid it. That morning, he plaited the hair and tied it at the end.

"There we go," he said once he was done. "So what do you want for breakfast?"

"Cereal, please," she said as she sat at the table. "And juice."

"Coming up," Eli noted.

He filled a bowl of cornflakes and milk before putting it in front of her. He put a cup on the table and poured her some orange juice.

"Thank you," she said after swallowing mouthful of cereal.

"You're very welcome," he said as he put the cap back on the jug.

He soon joined her at the table and they ate their breakfast in silence. They were once again reminded of life without Julia and how miserable it was. There was no joyful conversation, no laughs, nothing but quiet sadness.

Minutes later, Eli held Scout's blue jacket as she stuck her arms through the sleeves.

"Alright, did you brush your teeth?" he asked as they began to go through their daily checklist.

"Check," Scout nodded, turning around to face him.

"Do you have your homework?" he inquired as he zipped up her jacket.

"Check."

"Lunch?"

"Check," she nodded, holding up her purple lunchbox.

"And a smile?"

Scout then plastered a smile on her face.

"Alright then, let's get going."

He held his hand out to Scout, who took it and they walked out of the house.

Eli had to work until five, so he was unable to get Scout from school. One of her grandparents always picked her up and she spent two hours with them. This schedule was still new to the two of them and Scout still had to remind herself that her grandparents were picking her up from school instead of her mom.

Scout held onto Eli's hand the entire time as they walked fifteen minutes and didn't say a word. She was so used to Julia taking her to school that she hadn't really gotten use to Eli's company.

They were soon in front of a decent sized elementary school called Benet Elementary as many students began to file into the building along with a few teachers. Scout let go of her father's hand as he knelt down in front of her with a small smile on his face.

"You have a good day, okay?" Eli told her.

"Okeydokey," she agreed with a grin.

"Alright," he replied with a grin of his own.

He then pulled her into a hug and he gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Bye, Daddy. I love you," she said before walking towards the school.

"Bye, Scout. I love you too."

()()

Art time was a part of the day that Scout thoroughly enjoyed. She loved it when her teacher gave them instructions as to what they draw, paint, or color. Today, her teacher told the class to draw and color a picture of something fun they enjoy doing with their family.

She thought for a second before finally deciding on something her, Julia, and Eli did together. A few times, they would go to the beach. However, unlike most people, they rarely went to the beach on sunny days. It was crowded so they went when the sun was behind the clouds and sometimes when it rained.

Scout began coloring in the water in her picture when she saw two boys coming towards her out of the corner of her eye. Their names were Tyler Board and Mikey Davis and they were two of her least favorite people. Tyler was skinny, had blonde hair and hazel eyes while Mikey was a bit on the heavier side and had matching brown colored hairs and irises.

Not wishing to get involved with the boys, Scout tried to keep her focus on the tip of the crayon that was transforming the paper from beige to dark blue.

"Hey, Pouty Scouty," they chanted mockingly. It was a tease the two of them always did and Scout didn't like it at all.

A few of the students teased Scout for one reason or another. One reason was her choice of clothing. She wore dark dresses while the other girls wore bright colored t-shirts. They also made fun of her artwork. She didn't draw rainbows, trees, and flowers. She drew people, places, and memories. For a six-year-old, they were extremely detailed and she took her time so the image on the paper could become the way it was in her head.

What the students teased her about the most was the way she saw the world. She had an active imagination and she wasn't afraid to show it until Julia died. Afterwards, she dedicated it to her art. She remembered last year that these same boys began picking on her after she told her teacher a story of an orange squirrel and a blue rabbit. They called her stupid for thinking such things and they never stopped since, not even when they came into first grade and began noticing her less than inventive behavior.

Her parents and teachers always taught her that if you ignore bullies, they'll go away. Usually when she put this into practice, it didn't work but some days it did. She hoped that today would be one of those days.

"Why are you so sad today?" Mikey asked.

Scout continued to block them out as she continued to color.

"What's that?" Tyler asked, pointing to the gray on her picture.

"The sky," she accidentally answered.

"The sky is not gray," Mikey told her as if she was stupid.

"It is when it's rainy."

"No, one goes to the beach when it rains."

"Yes, they do!" she retorted.

"No, they don't!"

"My parents and I used to go to the beach when it rained."

"Your parents are stupid!" the Tyler stated.

"Are not!" she nearly shouted; she hated it when anyone said anything bad about her parents.

"Yes, they are!"

"Leave me alone," she snapped at them, tears beginning to sting her eyes.

"Pouty Scouty, Pouty Scouty," they began singing.

"What's going on here?" the teacher with short, curly brown hair, pink lips, and blue eyes asked as she walked towards the trio.

"Nothing, Miss Edwards," the two boys said quickly, stopping their song when she came towards them.

Not believing them the slightest, the teacher knelt down so she was by the young Goldsworthy girl. She put her arm on the table so she could stay balanced as she talked gently to the saddened and offended Scout.

"What happened, Scout?" she asked.

Scout looked at her picture as she spoke.

"They were making fun of my picture and my parents because we used to go to the beach when it rained," she muttered. "And they called me 'Pouty Scouty'."

Miss Edwards was able to hear what Scout said and she felt sympathy for her. She had put up with this juvenile bullying ever since the school year started again and it pained her to someone so young be tormented that way. She turned her head to the two boys.

"Mikey. Tyler. What is our rule in this classroom?"

"Treat others the way you want to be treated," they recited.

"Exactly," she nodded. "And would you like it if someone made fun of your pictures or your family?"

The boys shook their heads.

"And you wouldn't like it if someone called you mean names, would you?"

They shook their heads again.

"We won't do it anymore," Tyler promised. He knew he was lying, but he didn't want to get into trouble with Miss Edwards.

"Good. Now apologize to Scout."

"We're sorry, Scout," the two boys chorused.

"It's okay," she said, also knowing that this was going to happen again.

"Okay, now you two get back to work on your pictures," she told the boys.

They went back to their table on the other side of the room before sitting down and color their pictures again. Once she was certain the boys were going to remain there, the teacher turned back to her other student.

"Are you alright, Scout?" she asked kindly.

She simply nodded before continuing to color her picture.

"What's your picture of?"

"Me, my daddy, and my mommy at the beach," Scout answered.

"Is this something you and them do often?"

"We used to."

"You don't go much anymore?"

Scout shook her head. No one in the school was aware that she was living a life without a mother and she didn't want to bring it up. Eli was going to inform the principal that Scout's mother was dead, but she begged him not to because she didn't want anyone talking to her about it. Eli reluctantly agreed, but it took hours of tears and convincing on Scout's part.

"Well, it's really pretty. Good job," Miss Edwards congratulated before leaving her alone to see to the other students.

Scout couldn't help but grin. She really liked Miss Edwards. She was always helpful, sweet, a great teacher, and she never yelled. Usually, Scout was shy to show her art to anyone other than Eli (and Julia when she was around), but it was different with Miss Edwards and she took pride in work every time she complimented it.

Even though she was out of earshot, that didn't stop Scout from saying two words to her teacher:

"Thank you."

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><p>Eli and Clare have never met in this fic. Good or bad? Tell me in reviews!<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you nut311a, GoldsworthyGontierGirl123, EclareLover5757 for reviewing! Sorry I haven't updated in a while; I'm going to try and update more often. Longer chapter today! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi!

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><p><span>Chapter Three<span>

The remainder of Monday and Tuesday went fairly smooth for Scout. The two boys didn't tease her anymore, so she remained to herself just the way she liked it. Thankfully, these days were also uneventful for her father. They weren't classified as normal since Julia was dead, but it was the only definition they could use to describe their days.

On Wednesday afternoon at five o'clock, Eli was walking down a hall that was wallpapered with arts and crafts from the classrooms. It was parent/teacher conferences tonight and it was time for him to meet Scout's teacher. Julia's parents picked her up from school a couple of hours ago, so he was in there alone.

He journeyed halfway down the hall and checked all the nameplates outside the doors that identified what teacher was in which room. He soon saw a small, brown rectangular sign on the side of a doorframe that read _Clare Edwards_ in white letters. This was definitely Scout's teacher; so many times he heard his daughter mention Miss Edwards whenever she told him about her day.

He saw a few parents lined up outside the room, so he got to the end of the row and waited patiently until it was his time to see the teacher. After a twenty minute interim, he is now the next person in line to enter the room. He saw the mother of a student enter the hallway before Eli decided to step inside the classroom.

He saw a woman sitting behind her desk around his age. Miss Edwards, he presumed, was wearing a dark blue blouse and black dress pants (although one could barely tell since she was sitting at the desk) with a white headband in her hair. Her blue eyes stood out; they were soft and gentle. If Eli still wasn't completely in love with deceased wife, he probably would've found the woman highly attractive. He didn't think this. He was still grieving to even consider _looking_ at another female, let alone seeing chemistry, sparks, or anything of such nature.

"Hello," she greeted, standing up from her desk.

"Hi, I'm Eli Goldsworthy, Scout Goldsworthy's father," he introduced himself.

"Clare Edwards," she familiarized, shaking his hand before she sat at her desk and he sat in a chair across from it. "It's nice to finally meet you."

"You too," he replied. "So . . . how's Scout doing in here?"

"Well, I have nothing bad to say about her," she began. "She is a very sweet girl. She's also very smart. I asked the class to write a short story about their favorite toy and she chose her favorite stuffed animal, and she wrote a very impressive piece for someone in her age group. Most of the kids described it and where they got it or who gave it to them, but she turned it into a beautiful story. I was really impressed. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that you have a very creative daughter."

Eli grinned.

"She gets most of that from her mother . . . and maybe a _little _bit from me."

"Well, she definitely has an imagination."

"Is she doing alright in everything else?" he asked.

"She's excelling the most in Language Arts and Art, but she isn't doing poorly in any of her other subjects. But, like most students, math isn't exactly coming easy to her. She tries really hard to understand it and she does grasp the concept in the end, so I'm not too worried when it comes to that."

Miss Edwards was now approaching the next part of the conversation but she was cautious about it; she didn't want to give him the wrong idea about Scout, so she eased into it.

"Um . . . the biggest thing I'm concerned about with her isn't her academics. She chooses not to participate in group activities, she hardly talks to the other kids, and at recess she sits under the tree. She doesn't really talk to me or the other teachers either."

"Really?" he said, fairly shocked.

"Yes. You sound surprised," she noted.

He was. The Scout he was accustomed to was always talkative and lively with her peers. He remembered going to the park with her a few times and he always saw her socializing with children there. Hearing that she was now secluding herself from the other children worried him.

"She isn't normally that way at all."

"I asked her kindergarten teacher if she was always reserved like she was and she said no. In fact, she was surprised to hear that Scout Goldsworthy was quiet."

Eli smirked.

"I remember last year she made so many friends and she'd come home every afternoon and tell my wife and me stories about what happened during her day."

Clare nodded in concurrence before pressing onward and expressing more of her concerns.

"A lot of children her age go through a phase of being shy, but she's familiar with most of the kids in this room since they all came from the same kindergarten class. In fact, I think I'm the only person she didn't know at the beginning of the school year and she's talked to me more than all the other kids in this room since school started, so it makes me a bit worried. Is everything alright at home? Usually if something isn't right in the household, it could affect the way a child can act at school or anywhere else."

Eli didn't like bringing up the incident that happened over the summer, but it didn't seem like he had a choice here, especially if this was how Scout was acting on a daily basis.

"Um . . . my wife died in a car accident over the summer and Scout was in the car."

Clare didn't expect to hear this. Her heart turned cold out of pain and sadness for Goldsworthy family.

"I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

"No one in the school does," Eli explained. "Scout didn't want people thinking of her any differently and didn't want people reminding her of it at school. I'm just letting you know now so you understand why she is the way she is, but please don't mention anything to her. She's still trying to handle everything."

"I won't bring it up," she reassured him.

"I appreciate that."

Clare wanted to learn things about her students so she knew why they were a certain way, but she never wanted to cross lines. Once again, she was wary as they proceeded.

"Was Scout hurt?" she asked apprehensively.

Eli nodded.

"She was in the hospital with a concussion for three days . . . but Julia died at the scene."

"It must be really hard on you both."

"It has. But Scout's been a real trooper throughout the whole thing. She didn't even cry at the service until everyone was gone."

"She's a brave little girl," Miss Edwards mentioned.

"She still has a lot of nightmares about that day and she's afraid to get into cars. And she misses her mom. It's not the same without her around."

"Scout and her mom were pretty close, huh?"

Eli nodded.

"They called themselves the Goldsworthy Girls," he said with a sad smile.

The information the teacher told him young Scout acting this way at school greatly concerned him.

"At home, she is usually happy. She doesn't talk as much as she used to, but that's understandable. But if she's always quiet here . . ."

"Is it possible that Scout doesn't want you to be sad, so she puts on brave face at home but she doesn't at school?"

"It's possible. I just wish that she didn't have to do that."

"Well, from what I've seen she really cares about you. All the stories she's written or in all the pictures she draws had you and your wife in them. I'm sure she just doesn't want to see you sad, so she simply shuts all her pain away."

Eli never wanted Scout doing that to herself. She was a kid who shouldn't have to put a brave face for anyone.

"I guess this is something I need to talk to her about."

"Maybe," she agreed. "But, honestly, other than that, there is nothing going on with Scout. But if there's anything I could do, please let me know."

"Thank you, Miss Edwards," Eli said, rising from his chair.

"Clare," she corrected, standing up from her desk.

"Clare," he repeated, shaking her hand. "It was nice meeting you."

"Likewise," Clare replied.

She watched him leave and she sat down for when the next parent entered. For the next two hours, she spoke to a variety of parents and guardians from most of her students. Time and again, her mind wandered back to Eli. Scout's behavior now made perfect sense and it broke her heart. She never had to endure something that painful, so she didn't even want to comprehend the torture that little girl was going through.

The conferences were over at seven o'clock, but the sympathy didn't decrease. Her mind was in a whirlwind. How could such a young, innocent child handle all this pain? It was a mystery to her.

A buzzing of a cell phone vibration yanked her out of her thoughts. She picked up her phone and saw that she had a text message.

_R u going 2 make it?_

It was from Jake. They were supposed to meet for dinner by seven-thirty, but he knew she had parent teacher/conferences today, so she wasn't sure if she was going to make in time or not. She checked the clock on her wall read ten after seven.

_Yes. C u there_

Clare grabbed her purse and keys. She would've grabbed a few papers for her to grade, but she knew she wouldn't get to them tonight. She never did have time to do anything after a date with Jake.

She turned out her lights, closed and locked the door, went out of the hall, bade the receptionist (who stayed in the school until every last teacher had left for the evening) goodnight, and left the building. She walked to her parking lot and hopped into her car before driving towards the restaurant she was going to meet her boyfriend of two years.

All the while, her mind kept floating back to Eli and Scout Goldsworthy and the pain and suffering they were probably experiencing at this very moment.

()()

Eli and Scout were now eating dinner. He didn't bring up anything about what he talked about at the meeting as of yet. He wanted to observe her for a bit to see if she was really just pretending to be happy and putting on a mask for him. He was also concerned about how her once buzzing social life had now diminished into nothingness.

Eli wanted to bring these subjects up carefully, yet he desired answers.

"So you had a good day at school today?" he began as they continued to eat the remains of their meal.

"Yep," she replied. "Did you talk to Miss Edwards at parent/teacher conferences?"

"I did."

"She's nice, isn't she?"

"She is," he agreed. "She says you're a good student."

Scout grinned at herself. It was going pain Eli to bring up this next topic of conversation, but he knew it had to be done. He put his fork on his bare plate and pushed it away from the edge of the table before facing Scout.

"She also told me you don't play with the other kids."

Scout didn't respond to this statement. She just continued putting mashed potatoes in her mouth so she wouldn't have to explain anything.

"I thought you enjoyed playing with your friends," her father said.

She swallowed before answering.

"No one wants to be my friend anymore."

"Why do you think that?"

"I'm different from the other kids and they don't like it. They didn't mind last year, but now they do."

"Do they still tease you?" he asked, knowing that a few people did ridicule her.

"Sometimes," she muttered quietly.

That scenario was all too familiar to Eli. He remembered being picked on and bullied all through his elementary and middle school years and he sincerely wished that his children wouldn't go through that.

Thankfully, he learned a few things throughout those years and he was more than willing to pass them on to his daughter.

"I know some kids can be mean, but some will surprise you. I'm sure if you let others get to know you, they'll be happy to be friends with you."

"You think so?"

"I know so," Eli promised.

"Alright," Scout accepted. "I'll try making friends."

"That's my girl," he grinned, relieved that she was taking that step. "And do you want to know a secret?"

"Sure," she answered enthusiastically.

"The bullies may seem like they're all big and bad now, but when you're all grown up, _they'll_ be the ones working for you."

Scout grinned at this idea.

"That does sound nice."

Eli smiled at her.

"Just keep looking up," he advised her.

"I will, Daddy. May I be excused?" she asked since her plate was now empty.

There was one last subject he wished to address, but it was going to be a tough conversation to talk about if she really as hurting like her teacher said she was.

"Actually, sweetie, I need to talk you about something else."

"Okay," she said. "What is it?"

Eli looked straight at her with comforting and sympathetic eyes.

"Have you been telling me that you're happy but when really you were sad?"

Scout shook her head.

"Because if you are sad, you know you can tell me, right?"

She looked down at her empty plate. Usually whenever Scout wasn't being honest, she would stare down at whatever was in front of her until her long, black hair hid her face so she wouldn't have to see the people she was lying to or hiding things from. Eli knew this was the tactic she was using now.

He now understood that Miss Edwards was right and that Scout had been pretending to be happy for him. Feeling heartbroken that his daughter felt like she had to hide herself from him, Eli put a gentle hand on her back and moved it up and down in a comforting motion.

"It's okay to be sad."

"No, it's not," she murmured from behind her curtain of hair.

"Why not?" he asked, somewhat surprised that Scout would say this.

"Some kids at my school say that being sad doesn't help anything."

Eli scooted his chair out a bit and patted his lap. Scout got off her own chair and took a few steps towards Eli. He picked her up and put her in his lap before looking down at her and continuing to talk to her.

"I bet most of the kids in that school don't know what you're going through."

"But I don't like being sad," she mentioned. "Mommy wouldn't want us to be sad."

This was probably true. All Julia ever cared about was the happiness of her husband and daughter. But she also understood that there were going to be times when people would feel depressed and wished to mourn.

"Well, baby girl, sometimes you just have to feel sad because that's the way you feel. And Mommy would want us to be happy, but she would also understand that we will miss her and will need to feel sad from time-to-time."

"Are you sad?" Scout asked, meeting her father's eyes.

Eli nodded.

"I am because I miss Mommy a lot, but that doesn't mean you can't be sad. In fact, being sad helps at times."

"It does?"

"Yes," he answered. "You see, once you feel sad and maybe cry a bit, afterwards, you feel a bit better. And then, you can think about all the good times we had with her."

"Like when we all went trick-or-treating last year?"

"Exactly," he nodded. "And you don't have to ever, _ever_ put on a brave face for me, okay? If you're sad, you don't have to tell me you're not."

"Okay," she said quietly.

"Pinkie promise?" he said, holding up the little finger on his left hand.

"Pinkie promise," she agreed before hooking her finger around his.

Eli grinned down at her before giving her a kiss and releasing her finger. Scout looked up at her father, tears forming in her eyes.

"I really miss her, Daddy," she began crying. She locked her little arms around his neck while Eli held her in his arms. "I miss Mommy."

"I know, I know," he told her soothingly. Scout didn't have a cry like this since a few days after the accident when she found out her mother was dead and again after the service a few days after. She must've of had a ton of hidden sadness within her heart . . . a burden a six-year-old should never have to carry.

Eli allowed her to cry and she never stopped for at least twenty minutes. As he held her petite body in his arms and heard her sobs, he couldn't help but cry a little himself. It was silent except for the sad sounds Scout made. Once she was all of tears, she leaned out the hug and resituated herself on Eli's lap.

"Feel better now?" he asked caringly.

Scout nodded. She remembered that her father told her minutes before that it helps to think about the good times and fond memories.

"On Monday, Miss Edwards told us to draw a picture of what we like to do with our family," Scout said before sniffling.

"Really? And what did you draw?"

Scout reached to her backpack (which was hooked on the chair she was formally sitting in). She unzipped it and pulled out the picture she drew a few days ago. Scout handed it to Eli, who gazed at it while he continued to hold his daughter on his lap.

"Is this from when we went to the beach?" he guessed.

"Yep," she nodded.

Eli grinned at the drawing. He assumed that the only male in the picture was him. He was wearing a gray shirt and black pants (probably his skinny jeans) with his messing dark brown hair. Julia was wearing the blue blouse she always used to where with her black pants. Scout was in her green t-shirt and blue jeans. The sketches of them were uncanny for the skills of a child.

In the background was a light gray sky with a murky blue below. They always went to the beach on these days. The family was standing on the sand of the beach, shells, pebbles, and picnic foods on a blanket surrounding their feet.

"This is a wonderful picture, Scout," he congratulated her.

A small, flattered grin crossed her lips.

"Do you think Mommy would like it?" she asked hopefully.

He looked at his daughter, grinned, and kissed the top of her head.

"I know that she would absolutely love it."

* * *

><p>This isn't going to be a ClareJake fic (I'm an EClare fangirl all the way). I don't know how long this fic is going to be, but it won't be as long as my other story "If We Hold On Together". Reviews please?


	4. Chapter 4

I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN NEARLY TWO MONTHS! _**SO**_ SORRY GUYS! I thank R0CKSTARM0NST3R (I love your name), GoldsworthyGontierGirl123, EclareLover5757, eclarefanxxx, RRsabi, and simplecrafter for reviewing! Sorry I don't update this very often. It's more of a side project, so I can't really promise frequent updates, but I do enjoy writing this. And I'm sorry for the grammar errors and other mistakes in the last few chapters. Every time I reread this, I want to kick myself for overlooking them. Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi

* * *

><p><span>Chapter Four<span>

It had now become easier for Scout to be more open with Eli after their talk. Her nightmares about the accident were still coming to her, but they decreased from three times a week to once a week. Instead, she had great dreams . . . but they were nearly as painful as the nightmare.

Scout's dreams took her to past memories of her, Julia, and Eli spending time together. She was happy in the dreams; everyone was smiling and enjoying their lives as a family. It was when she awoke from the dreams did she feel the ache. She didn't know that dreams could hurt so much. That was all they were . . . dreams . . . memories . . . her subconscious playing with her mind.

Knowing her mother would only exist in her mind from now on, Scout would always go running to Eli's room once she awoke from the dreams. This began happening twice a week.

It hurt Eli greatly that he couldn't do anything. Sure, he could comfort Scout and dry her tears, but she would forever long for her mother to be by her side. Missing someone you would never see again in life was a wound that would probably never heal, especially if it was someone who gave you nothing but unconditional love since before you were born.

On this particular afternoon in mid-November, Eli and Scout were walking to school. Last night, she slept in his arms because she started missing Julia so much and this caused her to have a smile absent from her face today. Eli tried to cheer her up as they walked by telling jokes and funny stories, but it was no use; Scout was still miserable. She was even silent when they said their goodbyes before she entered school. She gave Eli a hug and said "I love you too" when he told her that he loved her, but that was it.

Eli's day at the newspaper went by as normal as possible, but he was worried about Scout the whole time; he had noticed that ever since the accident he had become more protective of her and not just in the respect of him not wanting her to get injured, but also emotionally pained. He didn't want her being sad; he would rather carry his own anguish along with hers if it meant she would smile, laugh, and enjoy her life again. Unfortunately, this was life and life wasn't fair.

Eli was sitting at his desk typing up an article on a local poet at three o'clock when his phone started ringing.

"Eli Goldsworthy," he greeted, putting the receiver to his ear.

"Mr. Goldsworthy, this is Clare Edwards, Scout's teacher," the person on the other line spoke.

"Yes, how are you?" he replied.

"Fine, but . . . I need you to come to the school as soon as you can."

"Is everything alright?" he asked, becoming concerned that something had happened to his child.

"Well, the class was supposed to draw something that made them happy and . . . Scout drew something that kind of worries me."

Eli was not expecting this kind of call.

"Um . . . okay, I'll be down there as soon as I can."

()()

Ten minutes later, Eli was in Miss Edwards's classroom, his daughter hugging his leg, obviously pleased to see him.

"Scout, could I talk to your daddy alone for a minute, please?" Clare asked the young child once she was done greeting her father. Scout nodded before stepping into the hall. They waited until Scout was not going to be able to see anything or hear them before they started talking.

Once she was out of sight and earshot, Clare pulled a small stack of papers out of her desk and took off the one on the top.

"This is what Scout drew today," she explained before passing it to Eli, who was surprised. Not long ago, his daughter would draw beautiful landscapes, unique creatures, and people; now, however, he saw this picture and he felt his heart break. How could _this_ make her happy?

The picture was of a dark room with nothing inside except for a coffin and woman lying inside it. She had dark hair that matched the black dress. Her skin was white as snow and her eyes were closed.

"Julia," he whispered to himself.

"Your wife?" Clare assumed. Eli nodded.

"Has she drawn anything else like this?" he asked, turning back to the teacher.

"Actually, a lot of Scout's drawings are becoming a bit . . . extreme for someone her age. At first I thought it was just her active imagination, but since you told me about her mother, I think it's more to do with that. Is everything still . . . uneasy at your house since your wife has . . .?" Clare asked, not quite sure how to put this into words. Eli, fortunately, understood and Clare didn't have to continue.

"She's missing her more and more."

"What about the nightmares?" she asked.

"Still there, but decreasing to once a week," Eli answered.

"And she's still afraid of cars?"

"Horrified."

Eli began feeling nauseated; he honestly thought that Scout was doing better now that they were talking to each other more, but evidently he was wrong. She was clearly still very affected by what has happened although it has been four months.

"I don't know what to do," Eli admitted aloud, but more to himself than to Clare.

"Um, I know it's not exactly my place to say what should be done, but I know a good child therapist who can help with this sort of thing. She's helped many kids with sadness, abuse, death, worry, divorce, you name it. I really think she could help Scout."

Eli sighed; he was not going to lie, he was very apprehensive about the idea. He didn't want to take his daughter to a stranger who did not understand what they were going through or relate to what has happened to them. Clare could sense his disquiet and decided to make another step to encourage the proposal.

"Listen, I've been doing this for five years and I've seen a few students go through things and I've always recommended this doctor when needed. Not once has a child not improved within a few months. I'm not saying you have to, but will you consider it?"

Eli was not completely keen on it, but he wanted Scout to be able to cope with her mother's death and, eventually, enjoy her childhood.

"I'll think about it," he accepted.

"Great," Clare said. "If you decide that you want to see her, let me know and I'll give you her number, email, everything."

"Okay. Thank you again, Miss Edwards."

"It's Clare, remember?" she informed him. She gave him a small grin and he returned it.

"Right."

()()

Eli was going to give some thought to the idea about taking Scout to see a therapist. He was probably going to talk to Miss Edwards to get more information about her, get some advice from his and Julia's parents, talk to his best friend, Adam Torres, and maybe meet this person before introducing her to his daughter.

The two of them were now walking back home; Eli drove his car to the house once he left work and walked back to the school so he would be able to walk with Scout after the meeting. Her gloved hand was holding Eli's and they walked through the cold air.

"Can we go see Mommy?" she asked.

"Sure," Eli permitted, hoping this was something that would make her happy instead of more depressed. He did want this to cause Scout to be trapped in a dark world of emptiness and sadness, but he knew how much she loved seeing Julia and he could not deprive her of that.

They then walked for ten minutes to the local cemetery. Scout's legs were starting to get sore because of all the walking, so Eli picked her up and carried her until they reached their destination. They had come here a fair number of times, therefore they never had to search for too long to locate Julia's resting place. Once they were halfway there, Scout begged for Eli to put her down. He obliged and she ignored the dull throbbing in her legs as she sprinted to her mother.

"Hi, Mommy," Scout said, hugging the headstone.

Eli was behind her seconds later. Scout held the stone for a few seconds before releasing it and allowing her father to read the engravings under her name, date of birth, and date of death.

_A loving wife_

_A wonderful mother_

_A strong woman_

_Forever in our hearts_

Eli knelt beside Scout, who had a few tears dripping out of her eyes. He didn't believe in a God, prayer, or the afterlife, but he now hoped that there was some kind of life after death despite his uncertainty just so Julia could watch her daughter grow since she couldn't be there with them herself. He doubted, but he hoped.

()()

Clare was back in her apartment later that day. It was seven o'clock and she was washing some dishes. Every day since she found out that one of her student's was motherless, she couldn't help but wonder how she got through the day; she surely wouldn't have been able to deal with that at Scout's age, especially if she was there when her mother got killed. It was horrible to think about and her thoughts and prayers were with Scout as well as her father.

She really hoped Eli would give some serious thought to the idea of letting Scout see a therapist. After all the heartbreaking pictures she'd seen recently, she truly believed that it would be better if Scout found a way to figure out her feelings and how to cope with the world around her. It wasn't up to Clare, of course, and the decision was in Eli's hands, but that didn't mean she couldn't hope that he would make that choice.

"Hey, are you listening?" Jake's voiced asked from a hundred miles away.

Clare pulled herself out of her thoughts and turned off the water before drying her hands on a dishrag.

"I'm sorry," she said, putting her hands on the counter in front of the sink. "I just can't stop thinking about this one student of mine."

"What's going on?" he asked.

"She's just . . . going through a difficult time and . . . it's just really hard to watch sometimes," she confessed to him.

"Poor kid," he said.

"Tell me about it," she agreed. "She's such a sweet girl and she has to deal with this in her life; it makes you really see that life is cruel sometimes."

"Babe, it sounds like you've been overthinking a bit," Jake told her, moving up behind her.

"I don't know," she admitted. "It's just been on my mind a lot lately."

"Well, maybe I should help you forget for a while," he attempted to persuade, pulling her into him and kissing her neck.

"Not tonight," she refused, trying to step away. Jake, however, held her tighter and continued to suck on her neck.

"Please."

"No."

"Come on, baby. You know you want to," he said, holding her even tighter.

"Not tonight," she repeated more forcefully. She tried to pull herself away again, but his arms were too unyielding around her that she had trouble catching air.

"Why not?" Jake asked, his grip never loosening.

"I'm not in the mood," she explained, finally freeing his arms from her waist.

"Come on, Clare," he complained. "When was the last time we did it?"

"A few days ago," she answered, turning around, trying to get away from him.

"It sounds like it's time to renew it," Jake said, taking her wrists in her hands.

"Jake, _no_!" she shouted, trying to free herself again. However, his hands were very strong and she soon felt her hands go numb because he was cutting off her circulation. She looked into his eyes and saw the rage begin to surface. Becoming worried, she made another attempt to yank her wrists out of his hands, but he was too strong.

"Stop squirming!" he demanded of her.

"Please, I just don't want –."

"_What_ _you_ _want_?" he then hollered.

Suddenly, he let go of one of her wrists before striking her around the face. She gasped in pain as the back of his hand collided with her cheek. He snatched her free wrist again and tried to look at her, but she was facing away from him.

"What about what _I_ want, Clare? I want us to get married, buy our own house, have children, but you said that you didn't want that! I gave up that dream for _you_ and I just want to love you, but you won't even let me do that! Look me in the eye and tell me that's not unfair!"

Clare was shaking at this point and tears were stinging her eyes. She then turned to face Jake and look at his eyes.

"Y-You promised this wouldn't happen again," she stammered.

He saw her tears and she knew it. It wasn't long until his face went from full of rage and anger to sorrow and regret. Realizing what he was doing and what he said, he realized her wrists.

"Baby, I'm sorry," Jake said with complete affliction. "I didn't mean to go that far."

"I-I just . . . I can't go through that again, Jake."

"I know," he said, leaning down to kiss the cheek he hit before taking her in his arms and hugging her. "How about we just go to bed and cuddle? Does that sound nice?"

Clare nodded against his chest and sincerely hoped that history was not about to repeat . . .

* * *

><p>I'm sorry if this sucked. I wanted to get this chapter up soon, so I wrote the ending fairly quickly and filled in any gaps.<p>

Oh, yeah, clearly this is not for Jake Martin fans. He is going to be OOC in this story, so leave now if you like him or if you don't want to see him in a bad light. You've been warned! No flames please! Who should the therapist be? Let me know if you want it to be a character that's already been created or if she should be an OC. Review please?


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks you all you amazing people for reviewing, adding this to favorites, etc.! Thanks eclarefanxxx, natalia.9614, sophiainterrupted, Cky297, HarryismyDirection, danagirl3496, and The Cliffhanger Girl for the beyond incredible reviews! I'm happy that you guys come back to read even when I'm MIA on this fic for weeks! Special shout out to reviewer/Twitter friend eclarefanxxx for being awesome, for being a great writer, and for helping me decide who Scout's therapist should be! You rock girl! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi

* * *

><p><span>Chapter Five<span>

The following Thursday was the first appointment Eli arranged with the child therapist Clare Edwards recommended. He had given it a lot of thought and actually met with the therapist prior to arranging a session; he informed her of Scout's situation and told her pointblank that he did not want his little girl going through more pain than necessary. Doctor Katie Matlin assured him that she would not force Scout to talk to her; she would get to know Scout first and wait until _she _was prepared to speak about her mother and then they would go from there. She then told him that he could even stay with Scout during the meeting if it would make them both more comfortable. Feeling reassured, Eli accepted that this could potentially help Scout and he agreed to set up a date for the two of them to come in.

Eli proposed the idea to Scout the night he met with Doctor Matlin, having the feeling that she would not be onboard with it. When he first told her why they would be going to see the therapist, Scout objected. Eli was calm as he explained to her that they were not going to talk about Julia immediately and this woman just wanted to get to know Scout. After stressing that point a bit more, she agreed to go, but she was still unsure and inquisitive about the idea.

After work on this Thursday, Eli walked to Julia's parents' house, picked up Scout, and they began to walking down the street. Thankfully, the building where the therapist was located was only a fifteen minute walk from there.

They're appointment was at six and they arrived there with half an hour to spare; Eli put his hand on the door that led into the building when Scout's voice reached his ears.

"Daddy, do I have to go in there?"

He did not want to force Scout into doing this, but, at the same time, he really thought she needed it and that it would help her.

"Honey, I'm going to be there with you the whole time, okay?"

"But I don't want to go in there."

"Why?"

"I don't want to talk about Mommy."

Recalling what Katie told him, he looked at Scout with comforting eyes before speaking.

"Sweetheart, I told you that we're not going to talk about Mommy until you're ready, remember? All Doctor Matlin's going to do today is talk to you about what you like to do and things like that."

"But what if she's mean?"

"I've already talk to her and she's very nice; besides, she friends with Miss Edwards, so she must be nice," he added with a smile. Scout's expression softened, but she still was not convinced.

"Can we go home?"

Eli sighed, wanting to give in to her saddened eyes and say that they could leave, but he really wanted Scout to be able to live life and the only way that could happen was speaking to the doctor so she could begin a road to recovery.

"How about this?" he began to suggest. "We'll go in today and we'll see how you feel and, if you don't want to come back next week, we won't."

Scout stood there, wishing that she was in her room with her stuffed hippo and her picture of her, Eli, and Julia. She stood there, tears in her eyes; she did not know why she was so apprehensive to go in there, but she knew that she wanted to be home . . . she wanted to be with her mother.

"Can we go see Mommy?" she then asked.

Under normal circumstances, Eli would've agreed and they would've gone to the cemetery to visit Julia's grave. But Scout needed to see this person because he did not know how else to help her.

"When we're done here, we can," he told her.

"No! Now!" she nearly screeched.

Eli then moved to the side so they were no longer blocking the door. He knelt down to Scout's level and met her eyes, trying to do what he thought was right.

"We will go see Mommy after we talk to Doctor Matlin."

"I don't want to see her; I don't like doctors."

"She's not like the doctors at the hospital, Scout. There are no stethoscopes, no thermometers, no shots; she's just going to talk to you."

"But I don't want to talk to her!" Scout argued, face turning red.

Eli tried to stay calm, but it was hard. He was not angry at her, but these moments were always hard for him. Julia was really good at giving Scout instruction and making sure she followed through with it. If she was here, she would be able to get Scout inside . . . then again, if she was here, they would not have to be near this building.

"Please, Daddy, _please_ don't let me go in there! Please, please, please, _please_!" she begged, tears streaking down her face.

Watching Scout cry like this tore his heart to shreds and he did not want to see her do it, especially since this was going to be really hard for her to do. Seeing that she could not, and would not, talk to a therapist in this state, he took a breath. She was not ready and he did not want to hurt her or add more pain to her already bleeding heart.

"Alright," he accepted. "But, when we get home, we're going to need to talk."

"Am I in trouble?" she asked.

"No, sweetheart," he assured her. "I just need to talk to you about this."

()()

"Hey, are you busy?" Katie asked Clare over cell phone.

"No. I'm just sitting at the Dot. Why?" Clare asked, sitting at a table in the coffee shop.

"My last patient of the day cancelled last minute; do you want to hang out?"

"Sure," Clare agreed.

"Great," her friend said. "I'll be at the Dot in five."

"See you then," she said before ending the call.

Clare had known Katie ever since they were in high school; they worked on their school newspaper together and even attended Toronto University together. They were really close, but there was a period of time a year ago when Clare had enough of the drama Katie created because she kept nosing around in Clare and Jake's personal life and they did not speak for months. Eventually, the two women reconciled and everything had returned to normal.

"Hey," Katie greeted, stepping inside the Dot and giving Clare a hug before sitting down. "How was work?"

"Not bad," she said. "But if I have to tell these two boys to stop shoving crayons up their nose one more time, I might have to break out the glue and construction paper again."

"You said that's always a mess, though."

"It's better than boogers," she said bluntly and Katie couldn't help but chuckle.

Clare reached for her coffee and, in the process of that happening, the sleeve of her sweater slid up her arm and revealed her wrist and Katie noticed something that made her feel queasy. On Clare's wrist was a big, blue bruise; it looked as though someone had grabbed it and tried to squeeze it for as long as they could or until a mark was formed.

"How did you get that?" she inquired.

"Oh," Clare said, seeing what she was referring to. She hastily covered it back up before her friend started forming theories. "It's nothing."

But Katie had already started formulating ideas . . . and she already knew the culprit Clare's minor injury.

"Clare, he hasn't been doing it again, has he?"

"No," Clare said, trying to forget what happened last week when Jake slapped her; his hand left a small bruise, but she had covered it up with makeup so no one would suspect anything and it went away completely in little to no time. Jake was very remorseful about it too; he kissed the mark every night and he apologized over and over again.

"Then why is your wrist bruised."

"Jake builds for a living and, sometimes, he did not know his own strength."

Katie, although she worked with children, had seen many abused parents who had brought their child in for help; in most cases, she ended up helping the parent along with their offspring. She heard all the classic excuses and the one Clare just said was one of the most common in the book.

"Listen, I know you love him and you don't want you two to break up, but –."

"I'm _not_ one of your patients, Katie. Jake's a sweetheart, I love him, and I want to be with him."

"That may be, Clare, but if he's hurting you again –."

"He's not hurting me!" Clare retorted. "I tripped and he grabbed me by my wrist before I hit the ground; he was helping me and he accidentally grasped too tight. Everything is fine."

"I'm sorry," Katie said. "I'm just worried."

"Don't be," she demanded bluntly. "Jake and I are fine."

"Okay. That's good."

Clare was relieved when the subject was dropped; that conversation was all too similar to one of the many they had last year when she and Jake were having difficulties in their relationship. Things eventually got out of hand, however, and she ended up at Katie's doorstep, arm and heart both broken. Thankfully, three weeks later, everything smoothed over and she and Katie were friends again _and_ her relationship with Jake was stronger than ever. She grinned at how sweet he was once they were living together again. He waited on her hand and foot until her arm was healed and that reminded her of why she fell in love with him.

"You know, I should get going," Clare said, really wanting to see her boyfriend now. "I'll see you around."

()()

"Oh, hi . . . y-you're home early," Jake stammered as Clare stepped into the apartment. She noticed how his hands were hiding behind his back, his face looking extremely flustered.

"Yeah," she said, putting her purse on the table and walking towards him. "I wanted to see you . . . but, I can come back later if you're doing something."

"No, it's fine," he said. "I was just . . ."

He then withdrew a bundle of chrysanthemums from behind his back and handed them to her.

"Jake," she said in awe as she took the flowers. "They're beautiful."

"I'm sorry again about the wrist . . . and the cheek."

"Don't worry," she said before kissing him. "You're the sweetest."

His lips twitched into a grin of appreciation before he put his hands in his pockets.

"Listen, I've been doing some thinking and . . . I'm just going to come right out and say it."

Curious, Clare watched him; within a matter of seconds, he was down on one knee, opening up a black, velvet box, and showing her a beautiful diamond ring. Surprised, Clare covered her mouth with one hand and stared at Jake as he said five words:

"Clare . . . will you marry me?"

* * *

><p>Cliffhanger!<p>

Sorry this was short; last minute decision, so the longer chapter I had before is actually going to be a part of the next chapter. I want to stress this point: I HATE CLARE AND JAKE TOGETHER! I'm Team EClare for LIFE!

Reviews?


	6. Chapter 6

WHOA! Thank you all for your incredible reviews! Thanks sophiainterrupted, Violet Rays, The Cliffhanger Girl (an honor as always), princess amy, RRsabi, Emily-Danielle-123, and HarryismyDirection for the comments and eclarefanxxx for your words on twitter! I'm LOVING the predictions you guys are making and everything! Who knows, you guys may have just give me an extra idea to give to the plot! Sorry I haven't updated in forever! School is driving me crazy and I've been working on my other fic ("If We Hold On Together") not to mention the collaboration I'm doing with The Cliffhanger Girl called "Trespasser" (published now! Go check it out on her profile). Sorry for the delay, but here it is! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.

* * *

><p><span>Chapter Six<span>

Clare stood there, frozen in place. Her eyes shot back and forth between the ring and Jake, who was still kneeling and waiting for her answer. She always pictured the love of her life getting down on one knee and proposing to her like this, but she imagined feeling completely different. She pictured this moment being perfect and magical and she knew in an instant that she would say yes; instead, her mind, heart, soul, and gut were screaming a single word:

_No_.

But, then again, she and Jake have been together for a little over two years and they had been friends since they were teenagers and she could not see herself with anyone else. Her track record with boyfriends was not great; they cheated on her, stood her up constantly, or left her with a horrible broken heart. Every single time, Jake was there to help her and that was what made her fall for him; he was there when no one else was and she owed him that much to stick by him despite everything that had happened last year. In fact, that was one of the many reasons she wanted to say yes.

But she couldn't. She did not want to get married right now; she wanted to focus on teaching and pay off all her loans she had acquired throughout university before settling down and starting a family. She told Jake this before, but since then it was a subject she avoided because she knew how angry he got when she told him that it marriage was not a priority right now.

Hoping that he was not going to fly off the handle when she told him her decision, she put the bundle of flowers he had given her onto the table, took a breath, and looked at his eyes.

"Jake . . . I-I can't. Not right now."

The hopeful grin on his face fell and Clare knew that she had just broken his heart.

"Oh," he said, closing the box and straightening up. "Well, this is awkward."

"I'm sorry," she said.

Jake didn't listen though; the atmosphere change drastically from awkward to angry and Clare knew what was coming next. Before that could happen, however, she was going to try to calm Jake down, stop him, and be there to help him like their counselor told them to when they used to go to therapy.

"But that doesn't mean I don't love you."

He slammed the box down on the dining table, began to pace heatedly as he clenched his fists together.

"Why can't we get married?"

"I've told you why a thousand times."

"I'm not good enough for you? Is that it?" he demanded, ignoring what she had just said.

"No, Jake, I love you and I do want to spend the rest of my life with you, but –."

"Why should we wait, Clare? We love each other, right?"

"Yes, but you know I'm not ready for that."

"How do you know unless you think it over?"

"I've thought it over many times and I'm just not ready."

He chuckled darkly before facing her; his laugh, the scowl on his face, and the anger in his eyes terrified her. She prayed that the Jake from long ago was not going to reappear; she got into a habit of doing this every time they had gotten into a fight since he got better.

"This isn't fair on me, Clare," he said. "I waited a long time for us to get together, watching you go out with multiple guys and then we finally get together and you said you wanted to go slow. I respected that and everything, but the one time I want to take a leap forward –."

"This is a larger than life thing."

"So you're having doubts about us?" he assumed.

"No," she protested. "Jake, I love you. I'm not saying no . . . just . . . not right now."

He huffed and shook his head.

"The only thing that will change is your last name; life won't be any different."

"That's just it," she said. "When I get married, I don't want to be living in a small apartment while trying to pay off loans and debt and everything. I want marriage to be a fresh start in a new home."

"I can give that to you."

"I know you can, but it won't all change overnight."

"Then we can wait and have the wedding in a few years or –."

"Listen, after _everything _that happened last year and all this other stuff we have going on, I can't commit to something that big. Someday, I'll gladly go through with it, but there's still a lot of figure out and so much to do," she explained. She stepped towards him and put a gentle hand on his arm. "Please tell me you understand that."

She stood there as Jake looked down at the ground, thinking over everything she had just said. After a minute of silence, she heard him sigh before he met her eyes.

"Okay," he said calmly, unclenching his hands.

"Really?" she asked.

"Yeah," he replied, mild disappointment in his voice and eyes. He gently wrapped his arms around her waist and she locked her hands behind his neck. "So . . . someday?"

Clare was silent and thought about this. He was getting better and he was not as violent as he used to be; sure, he lost it that one time last week, but she expected him to lash out every now and then. And she wasn't lying to Katie about the bruise on her wrist; she did fall and he just helped her, but used too much strength. Besides that, she could actually see herself with Jake forever despite everything because that was how strong their love was. Deciding not give up completely, she looked at his eyes and grinned.

"Definitely someday," she promised.

He smiled back at her before locking his lips to hers, still trying to shake the rejection, but and delay was better than nothing.

()()

Jake's car was in the shop, but he needed to get to work early the next morning and Clare let him take hers. She called Katie and asked if she could give her a ride to her school; being the lifesaver she was, Katie agreed and the two of them were driving away from the apartment complex minutes later.

"Listen, there's something I want to talk to you about," Katie said.

"If it's about Jake again –," she began to warn, but her friend interrupted her.

"Although I do have my opinions and suspicions about him, he's not what I want to tell you about."

"Okay," Clare accepted, making a reminder to herself to not tell Katie about last night, for she expected that her friend would say nothing but horrid things about Jake that were be completely false. "Then what's up?"

"Remember that student you recommended me to? Scout Goldsworthy?" she said.

"Yeah, how did her appointment go yesterday?" Clare asked, wanting to know if the young child had benefitted from the session.

"It didn't," Katie said. "They were the ones who cancelled."

"What?"

"It was, literally, last minute when it happened. Right after I was finished with another patient, I asked the secretary when they would be there, but she told me that he came in, cancelled, and left. No reschedule or anything."

Clare was beyond shocked. She had never expected them to bail on such an important meeting; when she last spoke to Scout's father over the phone to discuss Katie's practice a couple of days ago, he seemed really onboard with the idea. Why did everything change right out of the blue?

"If I see her father today, I'll talk to him and see what happened," she said, wanting to know what was going on as much as Katie.

"Good idea," she agreed.

Minutes later, Clare thanked Katie for the lift before climbing out of the car and walking towards the school. She unlocked her classroom and everything, thinking of how to talk to Scout's father. As the time came for the students to start arriving, Clare went outside the school and sat on the bench, keeping her eyes out for the Goldsworthys. She's noticed over the last few months that Scout is one of the first people to arrive at the school, so she did not expect a long wait.

Sure enough, after only sitting outside for ten minutes, she saw the father and daughter walking towards the school. She stood up and watched them exchange their goodbyes; she could not help but grin a bit as she saw Scout hug Eli and he smiled at her before they parted.

"Good morning, Miss Edwards," Scout greeted.

"Good morning, Scout," she replied before the child scurried into the school. Once she was out of earshot, Clare turned straight to Eli. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Eli knew what this was about: it was about him and Scout not meeting her friend the therapist yesterday.

"Sure," he answered.

"Um . . . Katie Matlin told me that you and Scout were going to go see her yesterday, but you cancelled at the last second."

"Well . . . you see . . ." he began, not wanting to upset her. He found it strange that he was caring so much about what Miss Edwards thought of him since they were practically strangers, but he did not have time to dwell on that while she was standing in front of him. "Scout wouldn't go in and . . . I don't want to put her through it if she's not ready."

"Understandable," Clare said. "Are you guys going to reschedule?"

"I'm going to for next week, but it depends on if Scout's up to it or not if we'll actually go."

"Do you think she'll be ready by next week?"

"I don't know," he answered honestly. "I talked to her last night about it and she told me that she doesn't want people getting involved in her life. She wouldn't say why though."

"Does she keep much from you?"

"Not as much as she used to," Eli admitted. "But the weird thing is that when I ask her why, she usually tells me; this time, she kept her walls up."

Clare's heart sunk; she had the uneasy feeling that time was not healing Scout . . . it was making her worse. What if her being distant from people and then secluding her feelings from her father was just the tip of the iceberg?

"Look, Katie agrees that she can't help Scout unless she wants to be helped, but do _you _thinkshe needs it?"

Eli did not want people getting involved in his life when they weren't needed, but it had been months Julia's death and Scout had hardly gotten better and that worried him greatly. He was lost, therefore any help that could be given to him was help that he would highly appreciate.

"I do, but . . . remember how I told you that Scout has a fear of cars and she's been having nightmares since the accident?"

"Yeah," she recalled.

"Well, she's also been a bit resentful towards doctors of any kind. You see, she's angry because doctors couldn't save her mom, so she has a grudge against them."

"Oh," Clare said, seeing Eli's point at once. "I can see why she would be apprehensive about it then."

"I tried telling her yesterday that Katie is a different kind of doctor, but no luck."

Clare was really fond of Scout and she could not bear to see her in pain much longer; she was going to do all she could to help, even if that meant trying to persuade Eli to give the therapy idea another try.

"If it helps, Katie actually prefers it if her patients don't call her a doctor; she thinks it helps her connect to the kids on a more personal level if they call her Miss Katie, or Miss Matlin, or just Katie."

"Really?" he said.

"Yeah," she nodded. "And she never pressures her patients to talk; she wants them to get used to the environment they're in before they tell her everything."

Someone with patience and kindness was the only type of person Eli would take Scout to see; maybe if he explained that more to her, she would want to come willingly.

"Do you think that will convince her to go?" Clare asked.

"It's worth a shot," he said, knowing that giving Scout more information may be more beneficial. "Thanks, Miss Edwards."

"You know, I've taken a few leafs out of Katie's books and I believe on being on a first name basis with the parents, so call me Clare."

Eli could not help but smirk for reasons he did not understand.

"Okay, thank you, _Clare_."

"You're welcome, Eli. It is Eli, right?" she clarified.

"It is," he nodded.

"Alright," she said, pleased that she remembered it.

"So . . . I'll see you around?"

"Sounds good," she agreed.

"And thank you," he added.

"You're welcome," she replied. "Have a good day."

"You too," he reciprocated before they each went their separate ways.

()()

Eli still had another hour before he had to be at work, so he knew he could spare a few minutes to go by the cemetery to see his wife. It was once in a blue moon that he went there by himself; in fact, the last time he'd gone here alone was on Scout's first day of school, but not since then. He came here with Scout often enough to ease the pain, but he felt that he needed some time alone with Julia, even if it was just her name on a rock and a coffin buried feet below the ground.

He traveled to the cemetery and soon found Julia's headstone, gray and shining like it was when he came with Scout a bit more than twelve hours ago.

"Hey," he greeted her, crouching down to the ground. "So . . . it's another day. I'm not sure if it's going to be a good one or a bad one, but I'll find out soon enough. I just hope that Scout's going to make it through the day; yesterday wasn't the greatest day for her. And I know I messed up by not putting my foot down, but I couldn't stand seeing her so hurt. She's already been through enough and I can't put her through it again. But what if her teacher is right and I should take her to the therapist? I don't know if I should or not; I can't force her if she's scared."

Eli often felt alone ever since Julia's death and it was now up to him to make all these decisions, but there was so much pressure and a million questions went through his head. Would he be doing the right thing? Would Julia do things differently? If she did, would Scout benefit from it? Would he make the wrong choices? Would it be his fault if their daughter goes down a terrible path?

"What would you do? You were always better at this stuff; you knew what preschool would be best, you knew which elementary school would be best, everything. I-I'm lost now. She's _our_ daughter and we should be making these decisions together, but . . . we can't."

He then felt angry, which was not surprising since he was still going through the stages of coping with death. He was in denial the first few minutes after he got a call from the police department, who told him that his daughter was in the hospital and his wife was deceased. The bargaining, depression, and anger came and went as the days went by; it was usually depression that crept through his veins and anger bared its teeth at him. To his dismay, he had yet to feel acceptance and he doubted that he ever will. He had been in love with Julia for too long to simply let her go.

He gazed at the stone, begging for something to happen so Julia could help him; he had no clues or ideas on where to go from here and she knew Scout and her behavior better than anyone on the planet. Julia Goldsworthy was the only one who would know exactly what to do, but she was not here, so the decision fell onto Eli.

"Help me," he said to the headstone. "You're the only one who would make the right decision; everything you've done with Scout was right and I can't take this! I need you to tell me, Julia! I can't do it on my own! I can barely handle getting through the days without you, but I have to be strong for Scout! And she's tried being strong for me, but she should not have to do that! She's a kid! She does not deserve this! She's never done anything wrong!"

For the first time in since her death, Eli began losing total control of his emotions.

"You kept everything together! You made sure everything was right and we were all happy! Now Scout and I are growing apart because you're gone! She's depressed and she's keeping things from me! She's never done that before and I don't know how to help her or what to do if she refuses to go see someone who could help her! I just don't know! We were fine when you were around, Jul! Everything was perfect! We were a family and we were together and happy! Now it's just Scout and me and we're falling apart! We need you back!" he said, two tears rolling down his face. "Scout needs you back! I need you back!"

Eli finally took a breath and realized what he had told Julia . . . or Julia's headstone. He could not help Scout on his own anymore and he knew that it was time to take her to see someone who could. As much as he did not want her to be forced to go, he knew he had to take her if she ever wanted to get better. He had two options: he could either sit back and watch his daughter get worse or take her to see Doctor Matlin despite the screaming that would probably come of it. In his heart, he knew the decision he had to make and he would do what he thought was best, but he hoped that his wife would approve of it

"Don't be mad at me when I take Scout to see the therapist, okay? Even if it is the not the decision you would've made?" was all he asked of her before putting his hand on the stone.

He stared at the wedding band that rested on his finger as his hand sat on the gravestone; although it had been almost four months since he lost Julia, he could not bear the thought of removing this ring; he felt like if he took it off, he would lose the last connection he had for Julia other than their daughter and that was something he would not be able to handle.

"I miss you," he said to her. "I miss you so much."

He remained there for a couple of minutes, not wanting to go but needing to so he could get to work.

"I love you," he whispered before gently putting his lips to the top of the stone, wishing that he was really at home giving her a kiss goodbye until he got home from work and then kiss her again when he got home as Scout jumped up and down eagerly to see him.

Unfortunately, there would be no warm greeting when he came home; there would be no happy child and wife waiting for him, smiling as he came through the door; all there would be is an empty home and a saddened girl holding his hand.

* * *

><p>Uh . . . I'm not really sure what to make of this. I know it's not the best in the world, but no hate comments, please.<p>

And guys, you didn't really expect me to Clare to say yes to _**Jake**_, did you? HECK NO! I'm a diehard EClare shipper, so I can't write Clare being with anyone but Eli (well, you know, except for a one-shot or two, but even there things don't end well for them . . . and here, but this isn't exactly all smiles and rainbows).

Shutting up now! Don't forget to check out "Trespasser" by The Cliffhanger Girl and I. Reviews please?


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you again for all your reviews! Thanks The Cliffhanger Girl, Moxxy, degrassiluver15, RRsabi, CrissyChan350, danagirl3496, and Eclarexoxo for your reviews! I'm glad you guys are still enjoying this! Sorry for the less than frequent updates; school is driving me cuckoo bananas and I have not had time to think of this fic. But it's almost summer and I'm determined to finish this fic before I enter my senior year (at least have it all written out or planned). Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.

* * *

><p><span>Chapter Seven<span>

After Eli and Scout ate their dinner that night, they had a long, serious talk about going to see the therapist; she was very upset at first, screaming and begging not to go. It took a while to get her to listen, but once he did, she sat quietly and heard what he had to say. He explained to her that seeing Katie was the best option; she whined and complained at first, but she soon came around. She was not happy about it; she was a bit scared and upset that she had to go, but Eli knew he was doing the right thing.

At least, that's what he told himself. It was hard disciplining Scout on his own, for he never knew when he was crossing the line or being too soft. The uncertainty kept him up at night along with the guilt of forcing Scout to go see Katie. He wanted her to be ready, but he knew that there was a chance that she would never be, so that gave him no choice but to take matters into his own hands.

The following Thursday, the two of them sat in the lobby quietly, waiting patiently for their doctor to come. Eli glanced around the room as Scout gazed at her shoes; his eyes soon rested on her and he noticed how pale her face was. He put a gentle hand on her back in comfort and she turned her head in his direction.

"Are you okay?" he asked her.

"I'm scared," she told him again, shaking her head.

"It's going to be alright," he promised her. "We're just going to meet Katie today; we're not going to talk about Mommy if you want to."

"But she might say something."

"She's not going to say anything about Mommy until you want to," he said to her. "And it's just for forty-five minutes; then we can go home and watch a movie."

"_Toy Story_?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes, _Toy Story_," he said.

A smile instantly broke out onto her face; she could not resist watching her favorite movie with her dad.

"Okay," she agreed.

He grinned at her happiness, but felt slight envy of her innocence; if only watching a movie could bring him peace of mind as quickly as it did to his daughter.

"Scout?" a voice then said; Eli looked up and saw the therapist standing in the doorway of her office. He stood on his feet, but Scout remained seated, looking terrified. Wishing that there was something more he could do for her, he held out his hand.

"It'll be okay," he told her softly and lovingly.

She clung to the edge of his hand and he held hers as they walked towards the young lady.

"Hi, Scout," the doctor said kindly once they were standing in front of her. "I'm Dr. Matlin, but you can call me Katie."

"Hi," she responded quietly.

"Do you and your dad want to come inside this room?" she asked.

"Okay," Scout said, wanting to get this over with.

Katie led them inside; it was a bit small, but it was not cramped. There weren't any windows, but the walls were a calming sky blue. There was a small table with a small chair that was big enough for children around Scout's age; behind the table was a sofa. Next to the door was a small desk and a chair was in front of it. In the corner was a small chest with puppets, toys, and various stuffed animals.

The three of them stepped inside the room; not wanting to leave her father's side, she sat next to him on the couch while Katie sat at her desk. She faced the father and daughter; Scout was looking down, clearly nervous as Eli looked at her and then at the woman who had a clipboard in her lap and a pen at the ready.

"Scout, the first thing I want you to know about me is that I'm here to be your friend, okay? Can I be your friend?"

Scout, who had learned that she should not become friends with people adults she did not know, looked up at Eli. He nodded at her, giving her consent.

"If you want," she agreed.

"Thank you," Katie grinned. "So, Scout, would you mind telling me a bit about yourself?"

"I'm six," she said.

"Really?" the doctor said with a small smile. "So that must mean you're in the first grade."

Scout nodded.

"Do you like school?"

"Yes, I have a very nice teacher."

"Yes, I know. Miss Edwards is a good friend of mine. Now, would you mind telling me a bit more about you?"

"Like what?" she asked.

"Well, just things about you. What do you like to do with your friends?"

Scout was quiet, not really wanting to tell Eli or this stranger that she did not have friends at school.

"Honey?" her father asked gently, wondering why she was not speaking. "Are you okay?"

She did not move or speak. Katie was too familiar with this situation; the poor child, who was deprived of a parent, was also deprived of friendship.

"You know, I've always thought that it can be hard trying to be friends with people sometimes. What do you think?" she asked the child.

Scout looked at her feet for a bit longer before nodding.

"I've tried making friends, but I get left out and they don't talk to me."

It was true; ever since she promised Eli that she would try to make new friends or become reacquainted with some old ones, they either ignored her or did not play with her for long. She remembered how she was on the playground last week and she saw a group of girls playing Duck-Duck-Goose at recess; she approached them, but they all ran from her when they saw her prepare to speak to them. She did not tell Eli, for she did not want him to start thinking that she did not want friends.

"That must be tough," Katie sympathized.

"A bit," Scout answered.

Eli sat there, shocked. Scout was the sweetest child he knew – and he was not being biased when it came to that – so how she was unable to make friends was a great mystery to him. It broke his heart knowing that people did not include her anymore; it was not right that she had to be without a mother and without friends too.

"Well, I'll be your friend," Katie said.

"Thank you," Scout said, smiling a bit more. Although she had met Katie two minutes ago, she was already taking a liking to her; she seemed really nice and she was not going to pass up on any chance of friendship.

"Alright, can you tell me other things you like?" Katie asked, trying to break the ice with her some more. "What's your favorite animal?"

"Hippos," she said quietly.

"Cool," Katie grinned.

"Are you afraid of anything?"

"Cars," she said so softly that it was amazing that Katie could make it out.

"Why are you afraid of cars?"

Scout quickly looked down, not wanting to reveal the truth; Julia was the reason and she did not want to admit to Katie. So far, Eli did not have any problem with what the therapist was doing; in fact, he was pleased that she was asking general questions to get to know Scout, but this was a dangerous territory. He knew how much of a delicate position she was in right now and he did not want to give her a reason to not come back here.

"Um . . . I think that's a question for another day," he said, hoping she would catch on. Katie nodded in understanding

"Never mind, Scout," she said. "We can talk about something else if you like."

"Okay," the child went along.

"What do you do for fun?"

"I like to draw. And color."

Nodding in interest, Katie turned to her desk and pulled out a box of crayons and a blank sheet of paper.

"How about you draw something for me while I talk to your daddy for a minute?"

"Okay," Scout agreed, never wanting to pass up and opportunity to draw if she could. "What do you want me to draw?"

"Anything you like," Katie permitted, putting the box of crayons and paper on the small table.

"I can do that," she grinned, sitting herself down at the table and taking a blue crayon from its friends.

"Alright, Mr. Goldsworthy, can I talk to you outside?"

"Sure," he said before turning to Scout. "I'll be right outside, sweetie."

Scout nodded, but was too busy focusing on her creation to notice Eli and Katie stepping out into the hallway.

"She must love her art," Katie said, smiling at the enthusiasm the girl had when she suggested drawing.

"It's her favorite thing," he said, his face melting into a solemn expression. "It's just that some of things she draws sometimes worry me."

"Yeah, Clare told me about some of the pictures."

"But I think that's how she's been able to cope, you know? Some people write, some play instruments, and Scout draws."

"Well, I highly encourage her to keep drawing if it helps her, but be cautious as to what she draws. Talk to her about it or come see me if it something out of the ordinary for her or if it worries you."

Eli nodded, determined to learn from these therapy visits as much as Scout.

"So . . . what are you thinking so far?"

"Well, she doesn't really seem to want to open up to me yet, so that's going to take a bit more time."

"Okay," he said in comprehension.

"I noticed that look you got in your eye when Scout said she didn't have any friends to play with; does that bother a lot or not so much?"

"A lot," he answered. "She's never had trouble making friends before, but since Julia died, she and her old friends grew apart and the other kids just tease her because she's always so sad. We talked a few weeks ago and she said that she didn't have friends, but she said that she would try," he explained. "But . . . I guess she's tried and people just . . ."

He took a breath, trying to keep himself calm. Katie caught on and nodded, showing him that he did not need to continue if you wish.

"Clearly, her mother's death has affected her, so maybe if she learns to cope with it, she can try making friends again."

"But what do we do until then?"

"Just be the best dad you can be and keep bringing her back. As for her fear of cars, it's going to take some time for us to help her get over that," she informed him. "And it's going require a lot of help and patience on your part."

"I'll do anything," he stated. Eli was, literally, willing to do anything in the universe if it meant his daughter could live a relatively normal and happy life again.

"That's good to hear you care about your daughter so much. Now if she keeps coming here for these sessions once a week, I think she'll soon lose her fear of cars and she'll learn to cope with her mother's passing."

After hearing these words, Eli was more determined than ever to bring Scout back here next week. It was evident to him that this woman could help and, if what she was saying was true, then Scout would gradually become who she used to be. But he knew, no matter how long they came to therapy, she was changed forever; she had lost her mother and that would leave a permanent scar.

"Have you seen many cases like Scout's?" he asked Katie.

"Unfortunately, I have," she nodded.

"And . . . have they all gotten better?"

Katie shrugged slightly.

"In most cases, but I rarely hear from many after they stop coming. But Scout's strong; I know she'll be okay."

Eli hoped that what she was saying was right and that his daughter would be happy again someday.

"Now, if you ever need anything like an extra appointment or if you ever need to talk one-on-one, don't hesitate to call," she informed him, handing him a small business card.

"Thank you," Eli said, accepting the card before the two of them returned to the office.

"Hi," Katie greeted, seeing Scout continuing to color a picture.

"Hi," Scout replied.

"What are you drawing?" the therapist asked.

"My mommy."

"Really?" Katie said, looking at the picture of the smiling woman with black hair. "She looks a lot like you."

"Except she has different colored eyes than me," Scout explained.

"Well, it's still a nice picture."

"Thank you."

Katie talked to Scout some more, but they only talked about what Scout liked and such; never did they address the issues in her life, which was a relief to her. She was beginning to like Katie very much and she did not want her opinion to change. After talking for at least another twenty minutes, their time was up and it was time for them to part.

"Scout, would you like to come back here to see me next week?"

Scout looked at Katie, then Eli, then back to Katie, and nodded.

"That's good," Katie smiled. "So I'll see you both here next Thursday?"

Scout nodded again while Eli said, "yes."

"Great," she said.

"Thank you," Eli said.

"Yes, thank you," Scout said.

"No problem," Katie said as they stood up and walked towards the door.

"Bye, Katie" the child said as she and Eli began to exit the building.

"Bye, Scout," Katie replied, waving goodbye until the door was closed.

The Goldsworthys were now outside in the cold air that the last week of November thrust upon them.

"Now, was that so bad?" he asked her.

"No," she shook her head tiredly.

They began walking away from the office and followed the sidewalk that would lead them to their home. After five minutes of walking, Eli noticed that Scout was moving slower and slower until he was practically dragging her by the hand.

"Tired?" he guessed, seeing her eyes.

Scout yawned and nodded.

"Alright then, how about we do this?"

He paused and took her in his arms before hoisting her up; she clung her legs to his torso, laid her head on his shoulder, and locked her hands behind his neck.

"I think it's an early night for you tonight," he said as they walked down the street.

"But can you still read me a bedtime story?" she asked.

Eli could not hold back a grin; if there was one thing that had not changed these last few months, it was Scout's love for the time the two of them had for bedtime stories. Since he barely saw her all day when Julia was alive because he was at work, he and his wife agreed that they would leave the traditional reading of stories to him and, despite all that has happened, that tradition has not fell through. It was one of the signs they both saw that told them life could be somewhat normal someday.

"You know what?" Eli said as they walked down the street. "You were so brave today, I'll read you two."

* * *

><p>I've never seen a child therapist, so I just improvised and I hope that it's similar to what they really do. I hope to see you guys soon! Review!<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks Eclarexoxo, The Cliffhanger Girl, mur xo, and Moxxy for your reviews and the always lovely eclarefanxxx for your support! You guys are seriously awesome and you guys rock so hard! I just would like to let you guys know that I don't mind _constructive _criticism, so if you want to send some in, I'm all for it! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi

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><p><span>Chapter Eight<span>

It was now the last day before Christmas break and everyone was excited for the holiday season. People were ready to take their vacations, visit families, and get off work while children were ready to get out of school. Every place was decorated in holiday cheer; even the most dismal of people were smiling as the snow started to come down.

Clare got to the school early the next morning as she began making preparations for the Christmas party and gift exchange her class would be having that day. She had been teaching long enough to know that there was no way that any of the students would be able to focus on work today, so she prepared a bunch of activities they could do. She prepared everything from coloring pages to making snowflakes so her kids could have fun on this day. She was setting up a station for water painting when she heard her phone set off a message alert.

Making a mental note to herself to turn it off before her students arrive, she took out her phone and read the message. It was from Jake and she swallowed the growing lump in her throat. The two of them got into a horrible fight the night before that resulted in him losing his temper and leaving her alone in the apartment with a couple of fresh bruises on her body. She opened the text message and breathed.

_Sorry about last night. I really am. I love you and I never meant to hurt you. I lost my temper but I know that's no excuse. I promise that I will work on it. Forgive me, beautiful? _

Clare rolled her lips and tried to figure out how to reply. This had been the second time he had harmed her since they came out of therapy, which was amazing progress, but this really worried her at the same time. This could just be the beginning of a relapse and she could not deal with it all again. It was conflicting, however, since she loved him so much and she promised him forever. Inhaling and exhaling, she decided that they would just talk about this later.

She put her phone away, knowing that she would have to deal with him later for not answer his text; she was just relieved that if he did hit her again, she would not have to go through the trouble of hiding them over the holidays. It was only going to be her and Jake, so she did not have to worry; her main concern was one of her students finding out and then getting suspicious. She thankful that all the bruises she had required were hidden by the long sleeves and high collar of her turtleneck. She ignored all the pain in her arms and shoulders as she put up window stickers on the glass, trying to think positively on the day ahead and how much fun it will be with her students.

As Clare started setting up her classroom, Eli and Scout Goldsworthy were walking down the streets that were covered in snow. He looked down at her as her mitten covered hand kept itself in his gloved hand. They had been therapy once a week for a few weeks now, but not much progress was made. Scout did not want to talk about Julia, and that was the source of most of her issues. However, Katie understood that this was a delicate situation and knew it was best to approach the concept of Julia's death with caution. Instead of talking to her about Julia, they focused on other problems; they talked about how some kids teased her and how she was sad because she did not have any friends. That was a big step in its own, so Eli was proud of Scout for being able to talk about that; she had even put some of the advice Katie had given her into practice. It did not always work, which caused her cry herself to sleep in Eli's arms on some nights. A day later, however, she would go to school with a smile on her face, prepared to face another day. After a few weeks of ignoring the bullies, they eventually stopped teasing her at every opportunity. They still did attack her from time-to-time, but Scout had learned to ignore it. She was still sad about not having friends, however, and that really affected her throughout the school day.

Despite all she had done, he knew there was so much more that she had to overcome. She may have trusted Katie now, but she rarely spoke of Julia and the pain he knew she still kept within her. He really wanted her to speak about her mother so he and Katie could try and help her find ways to cope with her death, yet they did not want to push her. They knew that when she was ready, she would open up and tell them; for now, there was nothing to do but wait.

As usual, they arrived at the school earlier than any of the other students. Eli enjoyed this weather, so he was not that cold; Scout, on the other hand, was shivering through her winter coat, hat, gloves, and scarf. This has happened many mornings and he really hoped that she would soon conquer her fear of cars just so they would not have to face this weather anymore. The snow continued to fall as Eli knelt next to Scout.

"Last day before break, okay? After this, it's just you and me for two weeks," he consoled her, knowing that school was not exactly the easiest place for her to be. "No homework, no meanies, just us."

She grinned slightly, just wanting to get inside the school.

"Have a good day," he told her before giving her a hug and a kiss.

"I love you, Daddy," she said.

"I love you too."

Scout practically ran inside the school, pleased to be in the warmth. She began walking down the hall to Clare's classroom, unaware that her teacher had a visitor . . .

"Clare?" Jake said, leaning against the doorframe that led into her room. She stopped setting up an arts and crafts station to turn around to see her boyfriend.

"What are you doing here?" Clare smiled at him; she had to force the grin on her face, considering that she was not pleased to see him here.

"I thought I'd come by and see you," he explained, walking into her room. "You didn't answer my text."

"I have to get ready for class," she said; she tried as hard as she could to keep the fear out of her voice.

"Can we talk?" he asked. "Just for two minutes?"

Clare looked at the door and then back to Jake, who was gazing at her.

"You can't use me as something to take your anger out on."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"I'm serious, Jake," she glared at him. "What happened last year is starting to happen again and I –."

"You know I'm not the same guy from last year."

"Are you sure?" she snapped. "Because it seems like you are to me!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" he almost shouted.

"I mean that if this keeps happening . . . I going to have no choice but to –."

Before she could say another word, Jake's hand met her cheek. A loud slapping sound filled the room and Clare put her hand to the side of her face, hoping it would ease the pain.

"To what?" he shouted. "To break up with me? Because you promised me that –!"

"Jake, listen," Clare tried to plead, tears caused from the pain stinging her eyes.

"Don't interrupt me!" he ordered. "Now listen to me! You said we would get married someday and that is going to happen! Don't you even _think_ about leaving me, you understand?"

They both fell silent as they heard a whimper from outside the room. Jake did not recognize the girl, but Clare did instantly. Scout Goldsworthy was standing there, holding the wrapped box she had brought for the gift exchange the class would be having that day. A tear was running down her face; never in her life had she seen a grownup hit another grownup.

Glaring at the child, Jake turned away from Clare and moved out of the classroom and went straight down the hall. As soon as Clare was certain that Jake was out of sight, she turned to Scout as she continued to stand across the hall. She immediately started feeling guilty that a girl who had been through been so much had to witness the scene that had just played out.

"Come in, Scout," she said, knowing that she owed the child some explanation.

A bit apprehensive, Scout slowly stepped into the room. She moved to her cubbyhole to put away her coat, scarf, and gloves as Miss Edwards sat behind her desk.

"Scout, can you come up here so I can talk to you for a second?"

Nervous, Scout complied and walked towards Clare's desk. The teacher looked directly at her with her kind eyes and soft voice.

"Scout, are you okay?"

She stood there, unsure of how she was feeling.

"Are you hurt?" she asked her teacher.

"No, I'm fine," Clare lied, trying to block out the pain on her cheek.

"I saw that man hit you and he yelled at you."

"We just had a small disagreement," she explained, knowing it would be best to save the details from the child.

"It didn't look like that to me."

"Thank you for your concern, Scout, but I'm fine," Clare said, putting on the best smile possible. "Now, how about you go and put that gift under the tree, okay?"

"Okay?" Scout agreed. She went back to her table to retrieve her gift to put it under the tree Clare set up in the corner that morning. When she was halfway there, however, a thought came to her. "Miss Edwards?" she said, turning back to her teacher.

"Yes?" she responded.

"You said if someone hurts us, we should tell someone. Should grownups do the same thing?"

Clare looked at the child, amazed. Scout was one of the few students who paid attention in lessons that involved abuse, strangers, and safety, so she should have expected this.

"Yes, but . . . it was an accident."

"How?" she asked.

"Um . . . well you see . . ." Clare struggled. She was never good at lying, but she had to convince herself that it was an accident as well as Scout; if it was not an accident, that means that Jake was becoming his old self again, and she refused for accept that. "It was something that he did not mean to happen."

Clare looked down at a paper on her desk, praying that Scout would forget what she just witnessed. That little girl had been through enough without seeing more pain in the world. Unfortunately, throughout the day Scout had showed obvious signs of being unable to forget. She kept an eye on Clare almost every second possible and asked her if she was okay at every opportunity. She had even made her a Christmas card that included her phone number and home address in case she wanted to spend Christmas Day with her and Eli. Clare was not sure if this was Scout showing concern or the need for female company since this would be her first Christmas without her mother, but she appreciated it nonetheless.

Despite the day of fun the class had, Scout was not in the best mood by the time Eli came to pick her up. His Christmas vacation started a day before hers, so he was able to walk her home from school today instead of one of her grandparents.

"Did you have fun today?" he asked her.

She simply nodded, her head still consumed by what she had seen that morning. She could not understand why anyone would want to hit Miss Edwards; she was one of the nicest ladies on the planet in her opinion, so she was baffled.

"I talked to Grandma CeCe today," he informed her as they walked down the street. "She wanted me to ask you if you wanted to spend the night at her and Grandpa Bullfrog's house tomorrow."

When Julia was alive, Scout would sleepover at his parents' home on many occasions, but they had not done so in a while; they hoped that resuming this tradition would make Scout smile again.

"That sounds like fun," she grinned, her mind still not completely focused on the conversation.

"Great. Grandma's going to be happy."

She loved her grandparents, but Scout could not stop thinking about her teacher. Why was she hit? Why was that man so mean? Would she be hit again? Has she been hit before? The questions would not stop coming and she wanted answers. She had learned during her sessions with Katie to always go to Eli when she was scared, upset, or if she simply needed guidance. Hoping that he would not be mad and that this time would not be any different, she turned her head to him.

"Daddy?" she began to say.

"Yes, sweetie?" he asked as they walked down the street.

Scout desperately wanted to say what was on her mind. She wanted to tell Eli what she saw and if there was a way to help Miss Edwards. But Miss Edwards also said that it was an accident and that she was fine, so should she keep it to herself or tell Eli? She did not know. She really liked her teacher so she did not want to lose her trust; she was the only person who had not treated her like an outcast or like a child who was useless. Terrified that her teacher would treat her opposite of how she treated her now, she knew what she had to do.

"Never mind."

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><p>Sorry this was so short; I'm taking this story in a different direction, so I'm going to need time to figure it out. Until then, reviews?<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

WHOA! Thank you degrassiluver15, PeaceLuvEClare, TonksLupinLiveOn1234, The Cliffhanger Girl, Eclarexoxo, Like-for-like, Moxxy, micblueeyes, MadameDegrassi354, Crissychan350, Darkestpowerslover234, and mur xo for your reviews! For once, I had a speedy update on this story! Amazing, isn't it? Here is the next chapter! Read, review, enjoy (I know they're called "comments" now, but I'm still referring to them as reviews)!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.

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><p><span>Chapter Nine<span>

Scout was quieter than usual for the rest of the afternoon and it was worrisome to Eli. She may not have been herself again (he doubted she ever would be because of her mother's death), but she was getting better and it was surprising that she was suddenly living in a nutshell. He asked her what she did at school today, but she never gave him specific answers. This worried him greatly, considering she was finally starting to open her heart to him more; her lack of communication either meant she was hiding something or that she was having one of her bad days and was thinking nonstop about Julia.

He was not surprised if she was hurting when it came to her mother's absence; this would be the first Christmas Scout would have without her mother. His girls were always close, but there was something about the holiday cheer that made them bond and they were full of laughter and joy. Every year, Julia would not help Scout set up the milk and cookies for Santa Claus nor would they stay up for hours to wait for him; Scout always fell asleep, of course, but woke up on Christmas morning with a smile on her face.

This year, however, would be quite different and Eli assumed that his daughter's silence was the result of this fact. Eli leaned against the wall between the living room and the kitchen and watched as Scout sat at the table. She was drawing with her crayons, but he could not tell what the picture was supposed to be. Curious and highly concerned, he moved towards her and observed as she began coloring a picture.

"What are you drawing, sweetie?"

"You, me, and Mommy on Christmas," she explained as she began adding ornaments to the tree.

"I see."

This picture made his heart ache; this would be the first time in many years he would not have Julia around for the holidays. It was going to be a horrible obstacle the two of them would have to overcome and it was going to be difficult to enjoy Christmas this year. Even though Scout was not prepared to talk about Julia yet, he needed to help her open up a bit. If there would be a time when she would really want her mother around, it would be now; he wanted Scout to understand that even though they were not around Katie, she was still free to talk to him if she needed to.

"Scout," he said, sitting down next to her. "I know this is our first Christmas when it's just going to be you and me . . . and I know that can be hard for you."

She did not respond; instead, she kept coloring. She did not want to think about the fact that Julia would not be around this year and Eli was trying to be as gentle as possible. Taking a breath, he made another attempt.

"If you ever need to talk to me or want to talk about . . . things that are going to be different this year since it's just the two of us, you can, okay?"

"Okay," she nodded.

"And it's not just that," he told her. "If you want to talk to me about anything, anything at all, you can."

"Anything?" Scout repeated, pausing her crayon from completing its coloring.

"Anything."

"Even . . . if I . . ."

"What, sweetie?" he asked, hoping that she was about to voice her inner pain about Julia.

"If I need to talk about school?" she said, reflecting back to what she witnessed at school that day with Miss Edwards being slapped by that man.

"Even if you need to talk about school," he nodded, seeing this as progress. "Do you want to talk about school?"

She shook her head, still unsure if she should tell him about what she saw.

"Well, if you change your mind, I'm right here, okay?"

She nodded and grinned at him.

"That's my girl. Now, it's time for you to get to bed."

"Do I have to?" she asked, since she was not tired.

"Yes, you do," he said to her.

Half an hour later, Scout was lying in her bed as Eli finished reading one of her favorite bedtime stories. After the normal pleas for him to read it again and him telling her that she needed to sleep, she agreed and got comfortable in her bed.

"You need to get some rest anyway," he told her as he tucked her in, giving her a smile. "You have a big day with Grandma and Grandpa tomorrow. Are you excited?"

She smiled and nodded, but her mind was still thinking about what she saw before school that day. She loved spending time with her grandparents, but the thoughts on her mind were overpowering almost everything else; despite that, however, she still had a small flame of enthusiasm in her.

"Then you need to get a goodnight sleep."

"I'm too excited to sleep," she told him honestly.

"You're going to need to try. Goodnight, baby girl," Eli said to her before giving her a kiss.

"Goodnight, Daddy," she replied. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Eli stood up and turned off her lamp before heading towards the door and left the room. Scout was now left alone in the quiet room, wishing to get to sleep. She tossed and turned in her bed for hours on end, desperately wanting to disappear into the realm of dreams. She held her stuffed hippo and then put it to the side and then held it again. No matter how hard she tried, however, she could not get the image of her teacher getting hurt out of her head. It broke her heart; it was actually astonishing to her how much this affected her since she barely knew this Miss Edwards. Then again, the last time she saw a woman get hurt, she died right in front of her. Since the death of that woman – her mother – Scout hated seeing people get physically injured, especially if it was someone she liked.

Close to tears and not able to sleep, she crawled out of her bed. It must have been close to midnight, but she was in desperate need of her father. Today, she saw that Eli meant want he said and she felt confident going to him. Although she was unprepared to open her heart about Julia, she knew she had to speak about this. It was too late to help her mother, but her teacher could be freed from pain. Desperate to get these thoughts out of her head, Scout ventured down the darkened hallway towards Eli's room. Through the darkness, she saw Eli's body sleeping within the blankets.

"Daddy," she said softly. When he did not stir, she tried again. "Daddy."

The voice of his angel reaching his ears, Eli opened his eyes and saw Scout standing in front of him.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" he asked her, turning on them lamp on his bedside table.

Scout shook her head.

"Did you have a nightmare?"

"No, but . . . I'm scared."

Although distraught on the inside that his daughter felt fear, he was slightly relieved that she was opening up to him. Hoping that he would be able to help his daughter, Eli sat up, picked up his daughter, and put her on his lap.

"What are you scared of, Scout?" he asked softly.

"Miss Edwards," she spoke quietly.

"You're scared of Miss Edwards?" he assumed, confused instantly. From what he heard from Scout and what he had gathered from his meetings, Clare Edwards seemed to be a really nice woman, so he did not understand why Scout would be afraid of her.

"No," she corrected. "But . . . if I saw someone do something bad to her . . . I should tell you, right?"

Eli nodded, instantly terrified as to what could possibly escape his daughters lips.

"Did you see someone do something to Miss Edwards?" he asked her.

"She . . . she got hurt."

"She got hurt?" he repeated, automatically feeling worry. They may not have been close, but she was important to Scout and it was because of her that they were now in therapy, so he was naturally going to have concern. "Do you know how?"

Scout began to shake; although she knew that she could confess her pains to Eli, she did want her teacher to be upset at her. She really liked Miss Edwards and she did not want her to be mad if she told everything to Eli. She was scared to find out what could happen if she betrayed her trust. Seeing the uncertainty in her eyes, Eli kissed the top of his daughter's head in console before turning back to her.

"Honey, if something bad happened, you know you can tell me, right?"

"I don't want Miss Edwards to be mad at me."

"She's not going to get mad at you, baby girl," he eased her.

"She's already mad at me."

"What do you mean?"

Scout looked up at her father, teardrops coming to her eyes.

"I saw a man . . . he yelled at her . . . then he slapped her."

As she admitted it, the tears came down her face.

"Then he kept yelling at her and . . . I think she was crying. I asked her if she was okay, but she would not talk to me. I gave her a card with our number in it, but I'm not sure if she liked it."

"Well, that was a nice thing of you to do, Scout," he told her. He was actually proud of his daughter for opening their home up to this person, who seemed to be going through a hard time of her own. Despite the pride he felt, he also had the feeling of sadness that his daughter had to witness that, especially while she still had not learned to cope with her mother's passing. She was not supposed to carry this burden on her shoulders; seeing that this was not to be her responsibility, Eli decided to take the reins in this situation.

"Okay, after I drop you off at Grandma and Grandpa's, I'll go talk to Katie and then she and I will try to talk to Miss Edwards."

"I don't want her to be mad at me," Scout restated.

"She won't be," Eli said. "If anything, you will be helping her."

Scout was silent, not sure if she believed him or not. She did want to help Miss Edwards, but there was still that fear that she would still be mad. Hoping for the best, she whispered "okay" and felt Eli give her another kiss on the head.

"Now you need to get some sleep, alright?"

"Can I stay with you?" Scout pleaded.

"Sure you can," Eli allowed.

They both lied down, Scout clinging to Eli all the while. The two of them bade their final "goodnights" and "I love you" for the night before Scout finally passed out from exhaustion. Eli hugged his daughter as she slept, hoping that tonight would be a night when the bad dreams chose to stay away.

()()

The following morning, the information Scout gave him last night still rang through Eli's mind. He had never met anyone who was abused by someone else, but it terrified him nonetheless. He felt sympathy for Clare as well as worry; he did not even want to think about what could have been happening to her at that very second. He tried not to let it bother him for Scout's sake, but it was difficult to do since she seemed to be just as scared as he was.

Even though Clare could be in danger, Scout still had to come first. He had to get her somewhere safe and warm so she would not be affected by the mood he could possibly be in after he and Katie were done talking to Clare. He did not know Clare well enough to talk to her alone, so he knew that Katie would be a good asset to this situation.

After they had finished eating breakfast and packing an overnight bag for Scout, the two of them were walking down the street towards his parents' house; thankfully, the walk was not that far, thus they were not in the cold too long. They were soon walking towards Eli's old home and, before they could even reach the door, they were greeted by a familiar face.

"Grandpa!" Scout squealed happily as she sprinted towards Bullfrog.

"There's my little adventurer," he smiled as he took the child up in his arms and gave her a hug. "Are you glad that you're finally out of school for the holidays?"

"Yep," she nodded. "Can we play in the snow while I'm here?"

"You bet we can," CeCe's voice then came from inside the house. Seconds later, she appeared in the entrance. She took her granddaughter in her arms and held her while Scout's hands clung around her neck. "And then we can have all the hot cocoa we want."

"Yay!" Scout smiled.

"Now, be good for Grandma and Grandpa, alright?" Eli told her.

"I will," she promised.

"She's always good," CeCe said before pecking Scout's cheek.

"Alright," he grinned. "Have fun, sweetheart."

"Okay," she said. Eli leaned in to give her a kiss before handing her the small bag they packed that morning.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow," he told them.

"Bye," the trio said.

"I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too."

They all waved to Eli as he began walking down the sidewalk and he smiled and waved back. It warmed his heart to see his daughter spending time with his parents like that; it was very rare to see that much enthusiasm from her these days.

After a ten minute walk across town, he finally came to the building where Scout's therapy took place. He was desperately wishing for Katie to be in today so they could talk about Clare and possibly save her and Scout from anymore of that pain. He got inside the building and immediately went to the front desk.

"Excuse me, is Katie Matlin in today?" he asked the receptionist.

"She's not here yet, but she will be by noon. You can have a seat if you wish."

"Thank you," Eli said, pleased that the two of them would be able to discuss this today.

He sat there for a couple of minutes, hoping that Katie would believe what he had to tell her and did not disregard Scout's story. He was still as he tried to compose his thoughts when the sound of a door opened.

"Katie!" he exclaimed, standing up as she came into the building. She was holding a briefcase and a to-go coffee cup; when she heard his voice, she was quite surprised to see him standing there.

"Eli," she greeted. "I wasn't expecting you here today. Is everything okay with Scout?"

"Not really," he said. "I need to talk to you."

"Okay, about what?"

"Clare."

Her eyes widened, not expecting this answer at all; she figured that he would speak of Julia and how he and Scout would need to cope over the holidays, but this was something completely different. Not only was she inquisitive to know why he had to discuss her friend, she was also worried that he had discovered something about her past history with Jake.

"Come in," she told him as they entered her office. Once they were secluded, she closed the door and she sat at the chair near her desk while Eli sat on the couch. "What's going on?"

Without hesitation, he told Katie what Scout told him the night before. He included the yelling, the slapping, and how Scout was worried that Clare would be mad if she ever found out that she told him.

"Poor Scout," were the first words that slipped out of her mouth. "Is she holding up alright?"

"She's spending time with my parents, which is a relatively good environment."

"That's good."

"I just . . ." Eli began, trying to find the words that would fit his feelings. "Scout doesn't lie and I believe her if she saw Clare being hurt, but . . . do you think we should do something?"

Katie nodded.

"Unfortunately, this would not be the first time."

"What do you mean?" Eli asked.

Katie, like Scout, did not want to betray her friend's confidence. On usual occasions, she probably would have honored Clare's wish and remained quiet, but she had to intervene when a child who had gone through emotional trauma saw that act. Then again, neither she nor Clare was close to Eli, so she knew it was best not to reveal more than necessary.

"I can't tell you too much, but it should be enough for you to get idea."

"Okay," he said, not really caring how much he heard as long as Clare was safe and Scout would not witness that sort of violence again.

"Clare has been dating this guy named Jake for some time now," she began. "Last year, he started showing a different side, but no one knows why. He started hitting Clare, but she stayed with him until he had broken her wrist and put her in the hospital for a concussion."

"Oh my God," Eli said, shocked how someone could do that to someone they cared about; he could not imagine doing that to Julia or Scout, or his parents doing it to each other. Plus, Clare seemed really gentle and kind; why would anyone want to abuse her?

"It gets worse," Katie continued. "She made contact with him after she got out of the hospital; he convinced her to not to press charges."

"Seriously?" he said, raising his brow. He could not comprehend how someone could put his girlfriend in the hospital and not expect a punishment, let alone why she would not make him pay.

"She said that if he went to get help, she would not sue. He went away to learn how to deal with that stuff for a few months and they picked up where they were before he became violent."

"But now it's starting to happen again?" he guessed.

"I think so," Katie nodded. "She's been getting more and more distant from me for some time."

"And . . . she's been getting hurt?"

"She won't admit it, but I think so."

"What can we do?" he asked, not being able to stand this much longer.

"I'll talk to her; try and make her see reason."

"Is there anything I can do?" Eli asked.

"No," Katie said. "You just go home and I'll try talking to her."

"Okay, but if you need anything that could help, let me know."

"I will. Thank you."

"Thank _you_," Eli emphasized. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," she replied as Eli walked out the door. The second she was alone again, she quickly pulled out her phone and dialed Clare's number. If what Eli said was true, then it was possible that the two of them had gotten into an altercation the night before and she did not know what to expect; in fact, she was worried that her friend may not answer her phone at all. To her relief, however, Clare answered after the phone rang twice.

"Hi," she greeted.

"Thank God," Katie breathed.

"Tis the season," Clare smiled, believing they were about to start some discussion about the religious contexts of the upcoming holiday.

"Clare, are you okay?"

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine," Clare said, taken aback. "Are _you_ okay? You sound a bit . . . un-Katie like."

"Clare . . . I just talked to Eli Goldsworthy."

Clare's breath got caught in her throat, knowing exactly what this was about.

"Is this about what Scout saw?"

"Don't be mad at her, Clare."

"I'm not mad," she answered with honesty. She understood why Scout would be worried and it would not be fair to be mad at a girl who had just lost her mother. "It's just that she has an overactive imagination and –."

"You know as well as I do that she did not imagine that!" Katie snapped. "If Jake is hurting you at your job in front of a child –!"

"He didn't know Scout was there."

"That doesn't make it any better! If he's hurting you like that, you have to leave him!"

"Katie, I'm fine," Clare told her. "Jake and I are fine."

"You're not fine!" she argued. "Not while he hit you in your classroom!"

"It was not that bad," she defended him.

"It _is _that bad, Clare! Don't you understand? A child saw you get hit; a child who has lost her mother! That is going too far!"

She heard Clare take a deep breath in on the other line.

"I'm sorry, but I'm worried about you; I'm concerned for your safety."

"Jake and I are working on it, okay?"

"He did this once already and you ended up in the hospital. I don't want you to go through that again."

"I can't just leave him! He needs me!"

"And you need to be kept safe."

"I can handle this!"

"Listen, you can stay with me for a while until –."

"I don't need your help, Katie."

"Clare, just listen."

"I got to go," Clare said hurriedly. "Jake and I want to spend some time together and he's going to be home any second.

"Clare, don't hang –."

Before Katie could finish her sentence, the line went dead. Biting her lip, she sat down and rubbed her eyes, tears of worry beginning to form. She could not do anything and Clare refused to listen to her; she felt weak, useless, and like a failure since her friend could get a beating tonight because she could not do more. She sat there, feeling pain for Scout, Eli, and Clare, wishing that Jake Martin had never become abusive.

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><p>FYI: I will give a reason for Jake's abusive behavior soon.<p>

Okay guys, I'm not sure if you noticed it or not, but these chapters are getting shorter and shorter and I apologize for that; I hope this chapter (which is actually longer than usual) makes up for it. In all honesty, I'm not fully into this story most of the time, but I like giving you all updates, so I rush the chapter. I'll admit, my best work is not in this fic, and I apologize for that. I'm not saying that I'm stopping this story, but I'm definitely going to slow down on the updates so the chapters are better. I have outlines for the next few chapters done, but I'm not sure when they'll be posted.

Thank you to everyone who has supported this story and, I promise, it's not going anywhere for a while.

Reviews would be highly appreciated!


	10. Chapter 10

Thank you degrassiluver15, fashionandstylegurl, TonksLupinLiveOn1234, Eclarexoxo, Moxxy, Crissychan350, The Cliffhanger Girl, mur xo, ZebraDolphin, degrassieclare23, micblueeyes, and marciarose for your reviews. Here's the newest chapter! It's a bit longer since I haven't updated in a while and I want a buildup to the next chapter (which should be awesome thanks to a certain individual). Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.

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><p><span>Chapter Ten<span>

Clare spent the Christmas holidays with Jake and his family across town. It was peaceful and Jake kept his temper all through the holidays, much to her relief. Unfortunately, his dad noticed the bruises on Clare's body, but she just told him that she was a klutz and she sometimes got hurt while trying to break up fights between her students. Every time she told this lie, Jake would grin at her in appreciation and she smiled back.

The two weeks of Christmas break passed quickly, but most of her bruises had a chance to heal. On the last day before Christmas break, the two of them had a horrible fight at their apartment and the result was a bloody lip. The following day, Jake gave her breakfast in bed, flowers, a card, and hundreds of kisses on each of her cuts and bruises. Clare did not forgive him immediately, because the scene was starting to become too familiar and she did not want to end up in the hospital again. She told him that if he hurt her again, she was going to stay somewhere else for a couple of weeks until he got his act together. He must have heeded her warning, because this was the last time he laid a violent hand on her.

When the first day of the new semester came, the first student Clare saw was Scout Goldsworthy. The young girl asked her how her holidays were and she said they were fine before asking her if she had been hurt anymore. Clare assured the child that she was uninjured, but Scout was very determined. She asked the teacher if the man who hit her apologized, and Clare told her the truth and informed her that he did. Before Scout stopped asking her teacher all these questions, Scout gave her teacher a hug, which was oddly comforting to both of them.

It was now Wednesday evening and Eli and Scout had just got done eating dinner when he realized that they were almost out of everything food related; due to the worry he had for Scout and Clare on top of the holiday season, he had completely forgotten to keep on top of the grocery shopping. Not wanting to feed Scout leftovers for breakfast the next morning, Eli called his best friend Adam and asked if he could babysit for an hour. He agreed, considering he was the godfather of Scout and because he did not have any children of his own so he loved spending time with her.

Eli was now walking through the grocery store getting all the necessary items and tossing them into his cart. He was at the produce section, almost ready to go when he noticed a familiar face looking at some green vegetables at the end of the aisle. Clare Edwards was standing there, completely unaware of his presence. Seeing her, Eli felt three emotions.

One was sympathy. If he just saw her in passing, he never would have guessed that she was being beaten. She either was forcing that smile on her face and holding her head high, or she was truly in denial about the situation. No matter which one it was, Eli felt sorry for her, because no one in the world deserved to be hurt by someone they love and care for.

Another emotion was anger. He knew it was unreasonable to a certain extent, but he did not like the fact that she did not leave her person forever. If she did, his daughter would not have seen Jake hit her teacher, and he wanted to shelter Scout from that for as long as possible. He held Clare a bit responsible for Scout seeing what she saw, but he knew it was ultimately not her fault; if she truly loved Jake, she would have been willing to give him a second chance.

The final feeling was one he did not expect, especially now of all times. He felt . . . warm. Seeing her face gave him a feeling of happiness, security, and trust he had not experienced since Julia was around. He did not understand it at all; he had always found Clare to be pretty, but now she seemed attractive and it took his breath away. He wanted to tell himself that this was because he was worried about her and that he longed for her safety due to the fact that she was Scout's teacher, but he was not so sure if that was the truth.

He scolded himself inwardly for having these familiar feelings. He had just lost his wife not too long ago, his daughter was still coping, and he was still not certain if he was able to bear with the loss himself. It was also not fair on Clare for him to develop this infatuation with her while she was in this relationship with someone who abused her. He looked down at his wedding ring, which he had not taken off since he and Julia were married and he felt guilty for having these feelings. He still loved his wife, but they talked about this before Scout was born and they knew that it would not be fair for the other one to be alone for the rest of their life and leave their child without some of parental figure.

Eli agreed with this completely; he just thought it was too soon and he was not even going to consider dating again until Scout was better. Scout would always come first . . . no exceptions.

However, whether he had romantic feelings for her or not, he was concerned for her safety and he wanted to know if Katie eventually convinced Clare to leave Jake. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he took the long walk to the end of the aisle towards the teacher.

"Long time no see," he said, appearing at her side.

Clare turned her head towards the person speaking to her. She was surprised and slightly worried to see Eli Goldsworthy by her side. Her heart leapt painfully, praying that he would not mention what Scout saw the last day of school before winter break. But at the same time, she wanted to know if the child was okay and if he was angry at her for letting his daughter see Jake's bad side.

"Eli," she said, too shocked to give him a more formal greeting.

"Clare," he replied with a smirk, hoping to lighten the mood.

"I see we've finally broken the habit of calling me Miss Edwards," she observed, pleased that he remembered. "Is Scout here or . . .?"

"Her godfather is watching her while I get a few things. Restocking, you know."

She grinned at him as he noticed that she had few yet specific items in her basket.

"Trying out a new recipe?" he guessed.

"Making dinner," she explained. "My boyfriend and I have been living on Ramen and takeout for the last couple of days, so we figured it's time for a home cooked meal."

Clare noticed the flow of red that entered Eli's cheeks when she mentioned Jake; wishing that she excluded that information, her face drained of any remaining color. Desperate to get out of this territory that they were in, Clare hurriedly changed the subject.

"How were your holidays? Scout didn't really talk about it."

"It was hard since this was our first Christmas without my wife, but we got through it. We had family come over on Christmas Day, so that made it a little better."

"That's good," Clare said with a grin.

"Did Christmas go alright for you?" he asked. She had already confirmed that she and Jake were still together, but he wanted a sign that he did not put her in harm's way.

"It was great," she answered honestly; she looked in his eyes as she did, hoping that he would see that she was safe.

"Good," he nodded, believing her but still highly concerned. Clare was relieved that he did not pry; unlike Katie, he did not bombard her with questions, accusations, and advice that she did not need.

"Um . . . I should go," she began turning around, not wanting to risk any difficult questions being asked.

"Wait," Eli spoke and he noticed as she turned around hesitantly. "Scout's worried about you."

"I know, but I'm fine," she eased him, wanting to leave before he could say anymore. He did not want him to ask questions, accuse Jake of being a monster, or tell her that she caused Scout more pain. She could not hear that . . . she refused to. "I really need to go."

She began walking quickly around the corner to the next aisle of food, but she heard footsteps behind her.

"Clare, please," Eli said. "She doesn't want to see anyone else she cares about get hurt."

"Don't tell me how to live my life," she snapped at him, trying not to draw any attention to them as she skimmed the aisle.

"I'm not. I'm just telling you that if you need anything –."

"I don't need your help, Eli," she barked, facing him in the process. "I'm fine, I'm safe, and I'm happy. So you just take care of your daughter and let me take care of myself."

She passed him, returned to the aisle of produce, and left him standing there, unsure of how to react to what had just occurred.

()()

The following day, Eli was still worried about Clare. The way she acted in the grocery store made it clear that she was avoiding the issue on purpose, which proved to him that she was certainly being abused by her boyfriend. He did not know what to think and he felt useless; first he could not help his daughter and how he could not help Clare. It was as though all the women in his life were cursed were to be dead or miserable and he could not do anything to change it.

He was downstairs making himself coffee to have a few minutes to himself before he woke up Scout. Hoping that it would get his mind off Clare, he picked up the remote to the television that was in the kitchen and turned it on. The news was on, but the last thing he wanted to hear about was more devastation in the world. He was about to change the channel when the journalist began to report a story that would change it all . . .

_"Last night, an ambulance was called to an apartment in downtown Toronto. Clare Edwards, a grade one teacher at Benet Elementary School, was found beaten in her living room. It was a neighbor who discovered Edwards bruised, bleeding, and unconscious on the floor."_

Eli watched with a speeding heart rate and an agape jaw as the scene switched to a middle-aged woman who must have been Clare's neighbor.

_"I heard yelling for ten minutes, then I heard someone gasping in pain, then crying, and then I heard glass breaking. I went over, but when no one answered the door, I went in and saw Clare on the ground and a broken window."_

The journalist continued to speak, but Eli did not need to hear it; he already knew what must have happened. Jake had beaten Clare, he broke a window to escape, and left her for dead.

_"Edwards is currently at Toronto General where she is being treated for her injuries. The police are in an ongoing investigation to find the person responsible. It has also been announced that Benet Elementary School will be closed today to allow police to question –."_

Eli turned off the television. He felt numb, yet he felt pain at the same time. His heart was hammering and he was shaking; terrified, he vomited in the sink. He could imagine Clare being sprawled out on the floor, covered in blood and bruises. The fact that someone she loved did that to her made him sick and he wanted to beat that son of a bitch within an inch of his life.

It was not only Clare he was concerned for thought. Scout was worried about her teacher and he would have to confirm one of her worst fears. He did not want to do this to her . . . he did not want to tell her that something terrible had happened to someone she cared about . . . not again.

But he did not have a choice. Taking a shaking breath, he rinsed out his mouth and sink of all puke before going up the stairs to Scout's room. Unfortunately, he actually had an idea on how to break this news to her. He gently knocked on her door before cracking it open to see that she was still asleep. She seemed to be resting peacefully as she held on to her stuffed hippo and he did not want to take that away from her. She had suffered enough and the idea of making her suffer more broke his heart. But he would need to give her some explanation as to why she would not be going to school today and why her teacher would probably be missing for a few days.

Ready for whatever Scout would do, Eli opened the door all the way and sat on the edge of her bed. He gently slid some of her black hair off her face before caressing her cheek with his thumb. He saw Scout begin to open her eyes and she grinned at him; he tried to return it, but he was unsuccessful.

"What's wrong, Daddy?" she asked him.

"Baby girl . . . you don't have to go to school today."

"Really?" she asked as her face lighted up slightly. If she did not go to school, she would not have to see bullies or sit alone while everyone else played together. Eli nodded, wishing that the reason behind it could have been trivial like too much snow or an infestation of termites. But that would not be the case.

"Um . . . honey, Miss Edwards is in the hospital."

Scout's face fell, her cheeks lost any existing color, and tears came to her eyes.

"Why?"

Trying to keep himself composed, Eli looked at Scout and began to speak.

"Last night, someone hurt her really bad and she has to go to the hospital to get better."

Tears came out of Scout's eyes, terrified about what could happen. The last time she heard that someone was hurt, that person died and she never got to see her again. She did not want history to repeat itself.

"Is she going to die?"

Eli did not even think about that; the news did not mention anything about her severe the injuries were and they did not say if she was close to death. But they mentioned that she was unconscious when she was found, he doubted that she would be better again anytime soon.

"I think she's going to be fine," he told his daughter, believing it himself even if it was just a little bit. "But the police are looking to find who did this and they need to talk to the teachers at school, so that's why you can't go today."

"What should we do?"

"You can sleep in a bit if you want," he told her.

Scout, who doubted if she would be able to get back to sleep, sat up and looked at Eli.

"I'm scared."

"I know. It'll be okay," he promised her, rubbing her back as she sobbed into his chest. "They'll find that man, put him in jail, and he'll never hurt her again."

Scout continued to cry and Eli could not blame her. He sat there with her for some time, never letting go of her; he kissed her head and smoothed his hand up and down her back until she was out of tears. By the time she was done crying, Eli noticed that she had fallen back to sleep. He kissed her head a final time before easing her back onto her bed and covering her with the blankets. He watched her for a second, glad that she was temporarily escaping the real world. He left the room as quietly as possible before going downstairs to call his boss. Going to work today would not be an option, not while all of this was going on and with his daughter needing him.

Since his boss was a father of three and they had lost one of their grandparents within the last year, he was very empathetic and allowed Eli to have the day off. Thankful, Eli hung up the phone and sat down on the couch, trying to clear his head. That failed, and therefore he tried to figure out what he could do. He soon realized that there was nothing.

He wanted Scout to get better, but he could not take away her pain. He wanted Clare to be safe, but he could not protect her. They were the only ones who could learn to cope or stay strong; he could be there when they fell or he could be a crying shoulder, but he could not change the way they felt on the inside. It was up to them if they wanted to feel better, be happy, be free. He could not change that . . . although he desperately wished he could.

()()

Scout spent the majority of her day in Eli's arms. She did not talk, she did not color, she did not cry. She simply allowed herself to rest in her father's embrace. He tried getting her to talk to him, but she declined. She allowed herself to get lost in the millions of thoughts that should have never existed in her head.

Hours later, Eli and Scout were walking down the street to get to Scout's therapy appointment. He was carrying her today, considering she was still too shocked to walk. He was honestly surprised that she still wanted to go to therapy today; he told her that he could cancel for today if she would rather stay home, but she told him differently. Eli figured that she trusted Katie enough by now that she wanted to talk to her about Clare being in the hospital again.

They arrived on time and Katie was waiting for them; the office was closed during the holidays, so this would have been the first time Eli would have seen Katie since he told her that Scout saw Jake hit Clare. They exchanged stares, knowing that they had both heard the news about Clare. The trio sat in the office, ready to begin; Katie sat in her chair as usual, Eli sat on the sofa, and Scout sat next to him.

"How were your holidays, Scout?" Katie asked, deciding to slowly ease into the issues.

"Okay," she answered. "Um . . . can I talk to you about something?"

"Of course," she nodded. "Is it about Miss Edwards being hurt?"

It was not the first word Scout said that surprised Eli . . .

"No."

It was the second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth . . .

"I want to talk about Mommy."

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><p>Next chapter will include an idea the lovely eclarefanxxx gave me, so if the next chapter is super awesome, it's because of her. Until then, review!<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

Thank you Eclarexoxo, huffletodapuffle, marciarose, ZebraDolphin, degrassieclare23, MadameDegrassi354, degrassiluver15, superfresh, The Cliffhanger Girl, sophiainterrupted, and midnightblackwolfcub for your reviews. Sorry for taking a month to update. Okay, like I mentioned at the end of the last chapter, this chapter would not have been possible without the input from the lovely eclarefanxxx. Thanks girl! I owe you. You guys should go read her work; she's amazing. I apologize in advance for any grammar mistakes or typos (past, present, and future). Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.

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><p><span>Chapter Eleven<span>

Eli made his strongest attempt not to look surprised. For the first time since she started therapy, Scout wanted to talk about Julia. He was not sure if he should be relieved that she was finally ready to confront this or if he should be concerned that she wanted to talk about this right after her teacher ended up in the hospital.

"Are you sure, Scout?" he asked her, putting a gentle hand on her back.

Scout nodded and Eli instantly turned to Katie, who was just as shocked as he was. She kept her composure, however, and tried to keep going in the direction Scout had started traveling.

"W-Well, Scout, if you want to talk about your mommy and the accident then –."

"I don't want to talk about the accident," she said so softly that Eli barely heard her.

"Then what do you want to talk about?" Katie asked, figuring that Scout would talk about the accident when she was ready.

Scout was silent for a moment, as though she was trying to pinpoint what she did wish to speak about. Eli gazed at his daughter, knowing that it would be best to be patient with her.

"I miss Mommy."

"I know you do, sweetheart," Eli said.

Katie saw this as a time to try helping Scout learn to cope with her mother's death and to get out all the anguish she had inside her for so long.

"What do you miss about her the most, Scout?"

"I don't know," she answered as she looked at her feet; there were so many great things about Julia that she could not list them all, let alone pick out the best one.

"Well, what are some of the things you miss about her?"

Scout continued staring at her feet, trying to think about what she missed about her mother. She tried to reflect back to the life she had while Julia was around. It was difficult at first, trying to knock down the barriers her mind had set up from thinking of those years. The adults waited as she sat there and thought on all the time she spent with Julia.

"Her hugs," Scout began.

Eli bit his lip, relating to his daughter; he also missed Julia's embrace and the way her arms gave them warmth and protection.

"What else?" Katie encouraged.

"Her kisses . . . the way she told me stories . . . the way she made me laugh . . . she always helped me get rid of nightmares . . ."

It was silent for some time except for Scout's breaths, but she eventually found her voice and spoke again.

"She was funny, too. We had fun together; we would play games and make things together."

"What would you make?"

"Pictures out of macaroni," Scout said.

Eli tried to smile and keep his tears back as he recalled coming home from work a couple of months before Julia died and saw the two of them sitting at the table in the kitchen. There was construction paper, macaroni pieces, and sticks of glue lying on the table. He remembered teasing them by saying that their art was making him hungry and Scout said that he could not eat her picture of a happy face, but that he could have the one of the sun. The family then spent the evening cleaning up and eating any unused macaroni for dinner.

"Now she won't sing me our song anymore."

"What song, Scout?" she asked.

Eli already knew what she was talking about before Scout explained it and the memories of it hit him in the heart.

"Whenever I had a bad dream, I would tell her and she would sing me a song to get me back to sleep."

Eli recalled all the times that Scout would occasionally come into his and Julia's room in the middle of the night after a nightmare. Julia would take their daughter in her arms and sing a sweet lullaby to her until she was sleeping peacefully again. Every time Julia sang this song, Scout would not have nightmares for weeks and life would continue on as normal until the process repeated itself. Eli remembered Julia singing that song to their daughter so many times while she was a baby and from time to time as the years passed; he knew every word and the melody by heart, but Julia made it sound like so much more than simple song.

"Now I keep h-having nightmares because she can't sing it anymore."

"Honey, I'll sing that song to you after you have nightmares if you want –."

"No!" she screeched. "That's Mommy's song! I don't want anyone else but Mommy to sing it!"

Eli was taken aback by the sudden explosion that came from his daughter; she was hardly this way and this was one of the first times since Julia died that she had this tone.

"Scout," Katie said softly, seeing this outburst as just a dose of everything that was inside her. "Is there anything else about your mom that you want to talk about?"

"No," she said, her voice breaking as a sob escaped her lips. "I want Mommy back! I just want my Mommy back!"

"I know you do," Eli said, feeling the tears coming to his eyes. Seeing Scout breaking like this was difficult to see and, as helpful as it was for her, he wished that he could do something to dry her tears.

"It's not fair!" she cried. "All the other kids have mommies who take them to school and play with them! Why did I have to lose mine?"

"Scout, it's okay," Katie spoke calmly yet loud enough for her to be heard over her cries. "It's okay. Everything is fine."

"No, it's not! My mommy is dead and she can't come back!"

"But Mommy is still here for you," Eli told her. "She's in your heart and she always will be; you just have to look deep enough."

Scout did not understand this; how could someone dead still be with you? They could not talk to you, hold you, or sing that special song. But Eli had never steered her wrong and she did not want to believe that he would start now; she just nodded, hoping that she would understand better when she got older. However, whether her mother was in her heart or not, she was not with her in person and that was all she wanted.

"I miss her so much," she said, tears coming to her eyes and threatening to spill over onto her skin. "I just . . . I want her to be alive again. I want her to take me to school, pick me up, take me to the park, sing me her song, and . . ."

She could not continue, for she had finally reached her breaking point. She burst out into tears, which Eli had not seen her cry in such a long time. He saw his daughter begin to cry more and more. She shook and kept her head down while the tears began falling out of her eyes. She began sobbing uncontrollably and it broke her father's heart to see her in so much pain. It was evident that she had this inside her, but now that it was present to him, it made him want to take the ache away from her just so she could have a somewhat normal childhood; she deserved that much.

"Shhh, Scout, it's okay," Eli whispered to her, gently rubbing her back with his hand. "Deep breaths."

"Eli," Katie said to him low enough so Scout would not hear. "Just let her get it out; she needs to do this."

It broke his heart to see his daughter crying and that someone was telling him not to help her stop. He could see why Katie advised him to not dry her tears, but it hurt him nonetheless. Then he told himself that this was for Scout and, if the professional was telling him that she needed to cry, then he needed to let her cry.

And cry she did. Between sobs, she would take deep breaths and beg for Julia. She cried in vain, knowing that her mother would not be coming through the door. On a lot of nights, Julia would continue to find her way into Scout's dreams and she always expected her to be there when she woke up. She would be smiling, get out of bed, and run down the stairs and expect to see Julia there; or, if it was a weekend, she would run into her parents' room and jump up and down on the bed until they were both awake. Unfortunately, every time she ran downstairs or into the bedroom across the hall, it was only Eli there.

"Mommy . . . I-I need Mommy," she said. "She always made me feel better when I was sad."

Eli tried to hug his daughter out of instinct; she had every right to cry, but he was not going to let it sit back and not give her some comfort.

"Honey, it's –."

"_No_!" she screamed, moving away from Eli on to the other end of the couch. "I want Mommy! I only want Mommy!"

Eli tried to pretend he did not feel hurt; he understood Scout wanted Julia, but she had never turned away from a hug from him before. She began flooding the arm of the couch with her tears, her back turned away from the adults. Eli took a breath and tried getting closer to Scout, but he did not know what to say. In that moment, just like so many others before, he wished for his wife to be here; she always knew how to calm Scout down whenever she would be this upset. He turned to Katie, hoping that she would have some advice. She was already two steps ahead of him; she was out of her chair and kneeling next to Scout, speaking comforting words to her.

"Scout, I know you want your mommy and that you miss her very much, but you also have your daddy."

"B-But I want Mommy back," she restated.

Eli heard this and a couple of the tears he had been holding back for the majority of this session finally made an appearance on his cheeks. He cleared them away, wishing with all his heart that he was the one that he was the one who died on that day instead of Julia. If only she was the one with the job and he was the one who took Scout to the park that day. Maybe then Scout could have been living in a bit of a peaceful place with Julia. His hours were flexible, but Scout still spent more time with Julia and he could not help but think that the time he was away from home would have helped the healing process if this was the other way around.

Or it was possible that they would still be a small, happy family if the spouses' roles were reversed. Eli probably would have caved in to Scout's pleas and would have allowed her to stay at the park for five more minutes, and then the person who ran the red light would not have hit their car and they would still be the family they were a year ago. They were also planning on more children, so now he began to think of what could have been if she did not die. Would she be pregnant right now with their second child? He did not know and he never will, and those thoughts created more tears.

He sat there, feeling like a failure as a father because he was unable to help his child in the way his wife did and he knew that he should have done more to help her. Over the past six months, he prolonged taking her to therapy, he was not helping her get over her fear of cars, he was still doing the same hours at work instead of shortening them so he could pick her up at school instead of a grandparent, and now he had to let a person he hardly knew comfort his daughter since he clearly could not. It broke him, and he tried to stay strong for his daughter, but the tears would not stop.

He attempted to clear his eyes, but it was no use. He was trying to listen to what Katie was telling Scout, but she was speaking so low that he could not hear over Scout's cries. He sat there, hoping that whatever Katie was saying was good and comforting.

"You have a daddy who loves you, Scout," Katie whispered to the child. "He just wants to help you. And I know you miss your mommy, but it's always good to have a daddy."

Scout absorbed these words, feeling guilty for rejecting Eli's hug. All he had done was be gentle and kind and the thought of her turning away from him made her feel worse. Once Katie was done talking, she turned to Eli and noticed the tears on his face. She had seen him cry before, but this was the first time in her memory that it was because of her.

"Daddy, I'm sorry," Scout cried, returning to him and throwing her arms around him. Eli held her as she cried into this shoulder; he took a shaky breath before letting a few more tears fall.

"You don't have to apologize, Scout," he told her.

"Then why are you c-crying?" she asked.

"Because I miss Mommy too," he told her. "I miss her too."

Katie sat back down in her chair and allowed father and daughter to exchange their pain through silence and tears. She hoped that through embrace that they would realize that just because they did not have Julia did not mean that they did not have each other.

"Daddy's here, sweetie," he whispered to her, caressing her back as she clung to him. "Daddy's right here."

She cried more and Eli held her, letting more tears fall on to his cheeks. He turned to Katie, who was nodding encouragingly.

"I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too, baby girl," he said to her.

He kept her in his arms, letting her cry out her pain. For at least five more minutes, they cried together; as soon as they were both out of tears, Eli gave his daughter a kiss and a final hug. They both grinned at each other as they dried of each other's tears; Eli smiled at how Scout had to use a whole hand on clear his trails of tears while he only had to use a finger for hers. Scout then sat in his lap and they both turned to Katie, who was grinning at both of them. For the first time since they came to her, she saw two people who were ready to mend.

"Are you feeling better?"

Scout nodded. Relieved that she had finally let out all her pain, Eli grinned down at his daughter as he held her on his lap. As they sat in front of her, Katie began to see that it was not only Scout she needed to help, for the child would not be able to begin healing until her father did the same. These two needed to work together and take steps of recovery with each other if they were ever going to be a family again.

"Now, Scout, I know it will be hard at times to think about your mommy, but there was ways for you to handle it."

"How?" she asked, wondering if there was a way to help with this hurt.

"Well, you can talk to me, your daddy, or Miss – your grandparents," she changed hurriedly, quickly remembering that Scout's teacher was in the hospital and it would not be wise suggesting her as a person to turn to at this point in time. "You can also know that your mommy would want you to be happy, right?"

"Right," Scout nodded, knowing that Eli had told her this time and again.

"Then you can think of the good times the two of you had together and maybe you can draw some pictures of her. You can draw things like what you used to do with her or things you wanted to do. Does that sound good?"

"I don't know, but I'll try it," she said.

"Good. And I know something else that the two of you could do together so the healing process could be easier."

When Eli first agreed to bring Scout to therapy, he did it specifically for her benefit and he hoped that once she was doing better, it would eventually teach him to cope with his wife's passing. However, he was actually quite pleased to know that Katie was offering her guidance to both of them at the same time.

"It seems that there is this hole that you both have and – as close as you two are – I think you two have been spending time away from each other since you two are so upset about Scout's mom and being around each other reminds you of her. But this is a time when the two of you need to start talking and spending time together."

"But we do spend time together," Eli said, not appreciating that Katie was stating the opposite.

"Eli, Scout's at school most of the day and you don't see her until you pick her up from her grandparents. After that, do you two do much together or talk much?"

"Daddy reads me a story every night," Scout said.

"But there could be more that you can do together. Maybe if you were to spend more time together and if you two started having fun together, maybe everything will start getting better."

Eli could understand Katie's reasoning and he hoped that it would work if they decided to try it. He just did not know what he and Scout could do together; he was worried of bringing up memories that would make them depressed, because it would feel like two steps forward and one step back. But, for the first time in a while, Eli felt less pain and he knew that Scout did as well, so maybe them doing activities together with this weight off their shoulders would be beneficial.

"That's all the time we have for today, so why don't you two try doing more together and we'll pick this up next week?" Katie proposed.

"Yes," Eli nodded, knowing that Scout had gotten a lot out of her and that they had made a lot of progress.

"Thank you, Katie," Scout said, as she and Eli walked towards the door.

"Yes, thank you," Eli said, giving her a sincere nod of appreciation.

"You're welcome," she replied. "I'll see you two here next week?"

"Yes," he answered, knowing that there was nowhere to go but up from here.

()()

After an almost silent dinner, Scout was passing time in her room by doing exactly what Katie told her to do. She was sitting in her room at the small desk she had, drawing and coloring some new pictures. She had made three already, all of which included her mother. One was of her, Eli, and Julia at the playground. The second was an artistic creation of the mother and daughter walking to school in the spring. The last one was fictional, but Scout always wished for it to come true. She, Eli, and Julia were all underwater, swimming with dolphins; they were not in swimsuits or wearing any scuba gear, but Scout did not seem to care.

The one she was working currently was another fictional work. The family of three was standing in front of the castle. Eli was wearing a crown to symbolize that he was a king, Julia wore a tiara to show that she was queen, and Scout wore a halo of daises to show that she was a young princess. She was in the process of coloring the grass they were standing on when she heard a knock at the door.

"Come in," she called.

Eli entered the room to see Scout sitting at her desk by her window, coloring just like she had been doing last time he checked on her.

"What are you drawing now, baby girl?" he asked her, walking over to her and looking at the drawing.

"Our kingdom," she answered.

"Our kingdom?" Eli repeated, intrigued by what was going on in his daughter's mind to create a kingdom.

"Yep," she nodded. "I'm a princess, Mommy's the queen, and you're the king."

"Wow," he said. "It looks really good."

"It's not finished yet. I still have to finish coloring the castle."

"Well, I can't wait to see it when it's done," he said before kissing her head. "So, I just called your school. They're still talking to some of the teachers about what happened to Miss Edwards, and they think it would be best to keep everyone out of school again tomorrow."

"Oh," Scout said, saddened that Miss Edwards was still in the hospital. If this was any other circumstance, she probably would have been happy about a four day weekend; but this was a tragic moment and she just wanted her teacher to get better.

"She'll be okay," he told her. "It's just going to take a bit of time."

Scout was silent, hoping that he was right. Eli looked at her and decided that it would probably be a good idea to try putting a smile on her face. She cried so much and felt a great amount of pain in the last fifteen hours and he wanted her to have some happiness today.

"Now, Katie said that we should try spending time together. So what do you think we could do?"

Scout pondered for a second before looking at her drawing and then at her dad again.

"We can color together."

"That sounds good," Eli approved. He was not the biggest fan of creating visual art, but he would do it if it meant that he could spend time with his daughter.

Smiling, Scout grabbed a coloring book of animals and handed it to Eli. The desk she was sitting at was not that big, so he sat on the floor next to it and rested the book against his thighs. Not wanting to sit up there by herself, Scout grabbed another coloring book, her drawing, and her box of crayons before sitting next to Eli on the ground.

"What are you going to color?" she asked him.

"Hmm . . ." Eli said, flipping through the pages. "I think I'll color the parrot."

"Yay," she grinned.

The two of them began coloring together, although Eli spent more time talking to Scout than anything else. It had been a while since the two of them actually had a conversation about anything outside of school, therapy, and Julia; it was definitely a nice change, especially since he was able to see his little girl smile again.

"Daddy?" she squeaked several minutes later.

"Yes?" he replied.

"Can we go see Miss Edwards tomorrow?"

Eli instantly felt his mind screaming in refusal. Clare was more than likely still covered in cuts and bruises, in pain, and she could have suffered head trauma for all he knew and could be in a coma. Scout had already seen what her mother looked like when she was killed and he was completely against letting her see something similar to that.

"I don't think so," he told her sympathetically.

"Please," she begged. "I want to give her a card to tell her to feel better soon and maybe give her a flower."

"That's really nice of you, sweetie, but . . . I don't think you should see her."

"Why?"

"She could be really hurt and I don't know if she would want many visitors."

"Oh," she said, disheartened. "I really want to give her my card though."

"Then how about I drop you off at Uncle Adam's tomorrow, I'll go to the hospital to see how she's doing, and then we'll see if I can take you over to visit on Saturday and you can give her your card then?"

Scout sighed, wanting to see her teacher and give her best wishes.

"Okay," she accepted.

"Good," Eli said, relieved that he could protect his daughter from this. He just hoped that Clare was in fair condition and that her boyfriend did not do much damage to her.

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><p>Okay, I'm back at school now, but I am still determined to update this soon. I plan on updating one chapter a week on a fic (two if I'm lucky), so the wait should not be too long this time; I promise to update this no later than the beginning of September. The good news is that I also have the rest of the story planned (grand total of 18 chapters), so I'm actually really pumped to write this. Review!<p> 


	12. Chapter 12

Thank you eclarefanxxx, The Cliffhanger Girl, Degrassieclare23, MadameDegrassi354, Eclarexoxo, Guest, degrassiluver15, Littlemissartsi, Darkestpowerslover234, huffletodapuffle, The Sunshine ray, ZebraDolphin, boogalooshimp123, and HowToLove for your reviews! Once again, sorry for the wait. Here's the next chapter. Read, review, enjoy!

* * *

><p><span>Chapter Twelve<span>

"Uncle Adam!" Scout exclaimed the following morning. She ran straight into the apartment the second the door opened; her godfather was standing there, grinning since he was so pleased to see her.

"Hey, kiddo," he greeted, scooping her up in his arms as she hugged him. "How've you been?"

"Better," she told him.

"Alright," he grinned. "Ready for a day or fun?"

"Yeah," she said enthusiastically; Eli smiled, pleased that his little girl was gradually coming out of the shell she had been living in for so long.

"What do you want to do first?"

"Can we play a game?" she asked excitedly. Adam should have known that was coming; the two of them would always have a small tournament of games whenever they spent time together.

"Sure. You go pick out the first game and I'll be there in a second," Adam told her as he put her back on the ground.

"Okay," she said. "Bye, Daddy."

"Bye, sweetie," he said before leaning down to give her a final hug. The second she was out of his arms, she rushed farther into the apartment to Adam's collection of board games. "Thanks for watching her," Eli said to Adam once Scout was out of earshot.

"Anytime. So . . . is she doing okay?" Adam asked, recalling how Eli told him on the phone the night before that Scout finally talked about Julia in therapy.

"Now that she's let it all out, I think she can finally start coping; we'll be going to therapy for a while, but now all we need is time."

"That's good. And . . . what about you?" he asked. "You've been taking care of Scout all this time, so . . . are you getting along okay?"

If Eli had to be truthful, he did not know how he was feeling. He had many mixed emotions, considering his wife's passing was not too long ago. He was happy that Scout was feeling better and he was a bit relieved that he was not in the deep depression that he had to hide from Scout for the first few weeks after Julia's death. He had adjusted to the reality that Julia was not with them anymore, which left him with a feeling of emptiness; he also experienced guilt, for he was now growing closer to Clare Edwards when his wife had barely been dead for half a year. He felt like scum and he thought he was betraying Julia, although he was not sure if he had romantic feelings for Clare or not; the idea of him being with another woman made his heart ache and he felt ashamed any time he thought of it. He also missed her terribly; there were times when he would silently cry or he would visit her grave to talk to her just so he could have some connection with her again.

Not quite sure how to phrase all his emotions, he simply shrugged in reply to Adam's question.

"Some days are harder than others; but as long as Scout gets better, maybe that will help me a bit."

"Well, I'm here if you need anything, buddy."

"Thanks."

"You're still going to go see her teacher then?"

"Yeah," he answered.

"I hope she's okay."

"Me too," Eli agreed, wishing that he would hear good news when he got to the hospital.

"What are you going to say to her if she's awake?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "Just ask how she's doing, I guess."

"What if she doesn't want to talk?"

"Then I'll just let her be and go," he shrugged. "I should get going; I'll be back in a few hours."

"Take your time."

()()

Eli stepped into the hospital, his heart pounding in anxiety from all the unanswered questions that invaded his mind. Had Clare's condition gotten better or gotten worse? Was she still unconscious? How many bruises did Jake leave on her? He was desperate to find out; he needed to know that she would be fine. He moved up to the appropriate desk at the back of the lobby, hoping to find who he was looking for.

"Excuse me," he said to one of the nurses on duty who was working behind the desk. "I'm here to see Clare Edwards."

"Are you a family member?" she asked him.

"A friend," he corrected, although he was not quite sure that they had a legitimate friendship or not.

When Katie heard about the news that someone put Clare in the hospital, she warned everyone who would be taking care of her to not let in a man who was tall, had short light brown hair, and had green eyes near her room under any circumstance. After seeing that Eli was not the person they had to be on watch for, the nurse agreed to lead him to Clare's room.

"Come this way," she instructed.

She stepped out from behind the desk before leading him down the hall to Clare's room. He followed her, his stomach hurting from fear as he forced his legs to move. He was not sure what to expect, but he hoped that the sight before him would not be too much for him to handle. He had seen Julia's lifeless body after the accident; he could recall her broken body and the fair number of cuts and blood on her beautiful face alone. If he was to witness a similar sight today, he would probably collapse.

"Miss Edwards, you have a visitor," the nurse said as she stuck her head inside a door. She opened it the rest of the way and Eli had to take a breath before looking at Clare.

She was awake and leaning against the pillows on her bed. Eli could not see much, because her torso was covered by her hospital gown and her legs were covered by the blanket. Her arms and face, on the other hand, were completely visible. She had many bruises on her arms and her knuckles were bruised (probably from self-defense). Her lip was swollen, she had a shiner in her right eye, and her left cheek was colorful because of the bruise on her skin.

"H-Hi," she choked out timidly.

"Hi," he replied.

Leaving the door open, the nurse left them alone and Eli moved towards the bed slowly so he would not startle Clare. She looked down at her hands, which were fidgeting on her lap.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to see how you were," he replied. "How are you feeling?"

Clare was silent, letting her body speak for itself; she was in pain and she felt ashamed. She wanted to disappear from the world merely because she did not see fit to live on it. She allowed her boyfriend to nearly beat her to death when she knew that she should have gotten out of there a long time ago.

"Scout wanted me to tell you that she hopes you get better soon," Eli's voice said to her once he saw that she would not speak. At the sound of the child's name, Clare forgot about all her problems and turned her head to Eli.

"How is she doing?"

"She finally talked about her mom," he informed her, taking a seat in the chair next to her bed.

"She did?" Clare asked with a grin.

"Yeah," he answered. "We just have to keep building from there."

"Hopefully that means her nightmares will go away soon and she'll be able to handle cars."

"Hopefully," he repeated. Eli was taken aback, considering Clare was the one in the hospital and she was being so concerned about her student. He was in awe of her selflessness even though the first thought on her mind should have been herself.

She looked at his eyes and saw the worry within them. She knew that he had ulterior motives the second she stepped into the room, but she understood now that there was a lot on his mind.

"You didn't come here to tell me how Scout is doing, did you?"

Eli shook his head, feeling a bit unsure of how he would be able to speak now. He was glad that they did not have to beat around the bush anymore, but now he wished that they had talked about his daughter some more so he would have more time to gather his thoughts.

"He did this to you, didn't he?" he stated, unsure of what else to say.

She turned her head away from him again and stared at the wall across from her. She did not want to tell him that it was Jake who did this to her; admitting so would show that he had won and that he had forever left a horrible mark on the history of her life. Seeing that she would not answer, Eli just moved on to his next question.

"What are you going to do?"

"Nothing," she responded softly.

He was shocked and terrified when he heard that word. Was she really considering letting him get away with this?

"You're not going to tell the police?"

Clare shook her head and closed her eyes, knowing that he was judging her and was disappointed. The officers who came to talk to her were disappointed when she did not tell them her story, the doctors were disappointed, and Katie was disappointed; there was no reason for Eli to be any different.

"You can't let him get away with this," his voice stated, his tone coating in mild frustration.

"I have to."

"No, you don't," he argued.

"Yes, I do."

"Why?"

"Because he'll come after me again if I say anything!" she shouted, opening her eyes and turning to Eli. Tears were in her eyes and Eli's heart broke at the sight of them. After all the tears he had shed and seen from his daughter, he had almost forgotten that there were reasons for people to cry outside of grief. "He'll probably kill me this time! He's stronger than me! I-I can't defend myself! If I let it go and keep my mouth shut, he'll come back and not kill me!"

"Do you really believe that?"

"He feels guilt," she informed him, not letting the tears fall on to her face. "He'll eventually see what he did and then he'll –."

"Apologize?" he assumed. "Even if that happens, nothing will stop him from doing this again. If you tell the police, they'll find him before he can get back to you."

"I can't."

"Why?" he asked, amazed at how stubborn she was being.

"Because I owe it to him."

"He put you in the hospital; you don't owe him anything."

"You don't understand."

"Then help me to," he instructed firmly yet softly so he would not become intimidating in her eyes.

Clare closed her eyes and rolled her lips, trying not to cry. She felt ridiculous for explaining this to the father of one of her students; she knew her reason would not be enough, but she did not want to be seen as naïve in his eyes. But she did not think she had a choice; with Jake, she had to tell the truth or he would get angry and hurt her and she did not want it to risk it happening again.

"I promised him that I would marry him someday."

"That promise became null and void when he put you in the hospital for the second time."

When Clare heard these words, she opened her eyes and turned back to him. She never told Eli about her past with Jake or that she was in the hospital before this. She believed that all he knew was that he was with this guy and she was a victim of his abuse. The last thing she expected was for him to learn that this was a mere repeat of history.

"How did you know that?"

"After Scout saw Jake hit you, I went to talk to Katie about it. She told me that he abused you and put you in the hospital," Eli explained, feeling slightly guilty about going behind her back to have her friend tell him about this.

Clare turned her head away from Eli, embarrassed that he found out about her past. She did not want anyone seeing her as a victim or as a weak woman who could not stand up for herself. She was so ashamed of herself that she did not even care that he and Katie had this conversation with her knowledge.

"I'm so pathetic," she scoffed at herself.

"You're not," he told her directly.

"I am," she retorted. "I stayed with this guy who h-hit me and . . . I didn't leave him. I thought he could change. I was such an idiot for thinking that."

"No," he said to her softly. "You were just not ready to give up on the person you love."

"Loved," she corrected. "Even if he does feel guilty about doing this to me, I can't say I love him anymore."

"You don't love him and you know that he can't keep doing this to you; if you tell the police, you won't have to see him again."

Clare did not fight the tears and they fell on to her cheeks. She took a breath and tried to wipe her eyes. Eli sat there, wishing there was something he could do to give her comfort; he wanted to hold her hand or pat her back, but he did not want to alarm her nor did he want to mix his feelings for Julia with his unresolved feelings towards Clare by performing this action that could be taken in a million different ways.

"I'm scared," she admitted. "If he comes back and . . . he finds out I turned him in to the police or if I don't want to marry him . . . he could kill me. I'll be safer if I don't do anything."

"They'll catch him and you can get police protection; taking chances with the police is better than nothing."

"Why are you so worried about me?"

"Because I care about you, Clare."

At those words, Clare turned back to Eli. She had not heard anyone other than Katie say those words to her in some time, but Katie had said them so much that they seemed to be only words and nothing more. With Eli, however, there was sincerity and care and she was hearing him when she needed the most reassurance.

Only now realizing what he had just said and the tone he said it in, Eli's face turned to a shade of pink and he quickly cleared his throat.

"Scout. Scout cares about you too."

She could not hold back her grin; whether he was simply flustered or if he was trying to show her some genuine care, she thought it was nice to see a man turn red. Jake was only red with fury and only showed sensitivity when it played to his advantage. Seeing someone one else with a softer side made her feel a bit more at peace.

"Thank you."

Seeing the care in his eyes, hearing the concern in his voice, and seeing the light pink in his cheeks made her see that there was someone out there who did care about her; Eli and Scout were worried about her and they cared about if she was hurt or not. The two of them had already been through so much and she did not want to put them through more; she did not know what would happen to her if she did not tell the police, but was more certain after talking to Eli that there would be more serious consequences from doing nothing. She did not want to put worry on the people who were caring about her, therefore she knew what had to be done.

"I'll talk to the police," she accepted.

"That's great," he responded with great relief.

"But I'm not going to hide; I'm getting back to work the second I've been discharged."

Eli admired her courage to keep going, but with the bruises and the trauma she had experienced, he doubted that this was a wise decision.

"Are you sure that's the best idea?"

"I'll wear a lot of makeup and everything to cover up the bruises; it's not like I haven't done it before."

"What about the pain?"

"It's nothing new."

"What about Jake?" he asked. "What if he does come back?"

She shrugged.

"I need to stand on my own two feet at some point; if he does come back and begs forgiveness, I'll just have to walk away, tell him it's over, and . . . never take him back. But I'm hoping that the police will find him before that, just in case he finds out somehow and comes after me."

Eli was impressed by her; she was going to keep moving despite the hell they had been going through lately. He had very rarely seen someone persevere this much and he was pleased that he had seen this trait in both his daughter and her teacher.

"That's brave, you know; you're going to keep going even though you're scared and you're going through stuff."

"You did the same thing with your daughter," she reminded him. "Is she okay?"

"She's sad that you're in the hospital; she actually wants to come see you and give you this card she made."

For the first time in many months, Clare had experienced true kindness and she felt blessed for it despite the fact that she was lying in a hospital bed.

"Will you tell her thank you for me?"

"I will. And the two of us are here if you need anything," he informed her. "Call or something if there's anything we can do to help."

Clare grinned at him, thankful for his sentiment. She saw a helpful, caring man at her bedside and she was grateful that he was being so kind to her even though she snapped at him last time they talked in the supermarket and he was going through a hardship of his own. He was putting his pain and worry aside for the two people he was watching over: his daughter and now her.

"Scout is lucky to have a guy like you for a father."

* * *

><p>Review please!<p> 


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